My two year old isn’t talking – what should our next steps be?

One of the hardest parts of parenting is wondering whether your child is simply taking their own path or whether they need a little extra support. I have been there – multiple times over – even as someone usually fairly settled and confident in my own instincts and decision-making.

A word on instinct

Honestly – multiple times. From my eldest’s moderate-to-severe gross motor skills delay (Jude took her first steps at 21 months) to worries over my youngest’s growth (he’s still cruising the lower centiles, and I’m okay with it!), it’s all such a constant, consuming mind game. And of course, there is no rule book. 

I think my biggest difficulty – the one that pops my calm, balanced bubble every 12 or so nights and sends me down the rabbit hole – is finding the balance between chilling the eff out on things, and not missing something crucial. 

Twice in my kids’ lives, I’ve acted on instinct. And both times, it saved their lives. Life-saving or otherwise (and let’s take a moment here for the impact on quality of life which a developmental delay might have), my feeling is – act on that instinct. You’ll rarely regret it, and if something feels ‘off’, ‘different’ or ‘wrong’, I’m not saying it is, but it’s worth listening to, and seeking expert support. 

There are amazing professionals in almost every post or zip code, who’ve dedicated their careers to a passion around your child’s specific need. They can and want to help. Start with a chat with your health visitor or pediatrician – and dive deep on your platform of choice. This is where social media really can help – find your tribe, tips and signposting there (I absolutely have, on Instagram).

When to seek support

Every toddler develops differently, and while some seem to chatter non-stop before their second birthday, others take much longer to find their voice.

The good news is that speech and language development exists on a broad spectrum – so being a “late talker” doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong. At the same time, knowing the typical milestones can help you recognise when it’s worth seeking advice. Early support, where needed, can make a huge difference.

How many words should an 18-month-old say?

There’s no magic number, but by around 18 months, many toddlers are using around 10-20 recognisable words. Some will have far more, while others may only have a handful.

Remember, communication isn’t just about spoken words.

At this age, your toddler might also:

• Say “mama”, “dada” and the names of familiar people
• Use words like “more”, “up”, “bye” or “ball”
• Point to objects they want
• Shake their head for “no”
• Wave goodbye
• Copy animal noises
• Use simple signs or gestures alongside speech

Speech-language professionals also look closely at what your child understands, not just what they can say. A toddler who follows instructions, points to familiar objects and understands everyday language may simply be developing expressive language more slowly than their receptive language.

Many children also experience a “language explosion” between 18 and 24 months, when their vocabulary suddenly expands. This was definitely the case with my eldest, whose explosion came thick and fast during the first UK lockdown, when she was 23 months old.

When do toddlers start talking?

Every child develops at their own pace, but these milestones can provide a helpful guide.

Around 12-14 months

Most toddlers are beginning to say their first recognisable words. They usually respond to their name, understand simple requests like “come here”, point to things they’re interested in and use gestures such as waving or clapping.

By 16 months

Vocabulary is often growing steadily. Many toddlers begin attempting to copy new words, label familiar people and recognise everyday objects in books.

Around 18 months

Many children have around 10-20 spoken words, understand much more than they can say and enjoy naming familiar objects. They may point to body parts when asked and follow simple one-step instructions.

By 2 years

By their second birthday, many toddlers are using around 50 words or more and beginning to combine them into simple two-word phrases such as “more milk”, “Mummy home” or “big dog”.

They’re also usually able to:

• Follow simple two-step instructions
• Point to pictures in books
• Name familiar objects
• Be understood by parents most of the time, even if strangers find their speech less clear

By 3 years

Language typically develops rapidly. Many three-year-olds are speaking in short sentences, asking questions, talking about everyday experiences and becoming much easier for unfamiliar adults to understand.

My 2-year-old isn’t talking, but understands everything

One of the most reassuring signs is when a toddler understands plenty of language, even if they aren’t saying many words themselves.

If your child follows instructions, points when asked, recognises familiar people and seems to understand everyday conversation, their receptive language may be developing well while their expressive language is taking a little longer.

That doesn’t necessarily mean you should ignore your concerns. It simply helps professionals build a clearer picture of your child’s development.

If your child has very few words by age two, it’s still worth speaking to your health visitor, GP or speech and language therapist, even if they appear to understand everything you say.

How can I encourage my toddler to talk?

The best speech practice often happens through everyday play rather than formal teaching.

Try to:

• Narrate what you’re doing throughout the day
• Read together every day, even for just ten minutes and chatting about the pictures
• Sing nursery rhymes and action songs
• Slow your own speech slightly
• Pause after asking a question to give your child time to respond
• Offer simple choices, such as “apple or banana?”
• Get down on the floor and play face-to-face
• Celebrate every attempt at communication, whether it’s a word, sound or gesture

If you’re looking for practical ideas, SJ Strum’s Speech Delay and Therapy series is full of realistic advice from lived experience. Her brilliant videos (including 5 Signs of Toddler Speech Delay, 10 Effective Speech Therapy Ideas to Do at Home and Did Speech Therapy Work? One Year Update) offer encouragement alongside practical activities that so many parents find helpful.

Speech delay vs autism

One of the key questions parents have is whether delayed speech could be a sign of autism.

While some autistic children do experience speech and language delays, speech delay on its own does not mean a child is autistic. 

Healthcare professionals look at your child’s overall development, including:

• Eye contact
• Joint attention (sharing interest with others)
• Social interaction
• Pretend play
• Repetitive behaviours
• Sensory differences
• Communication skills

Many children who have delayed speech are not autistic, while some autistic children develop speech on time.

If you have concerns about several areas of your child’s development, speak to your GP or health visitor, who can advise on the next steps.

Your super-common FAQs

Can tongue tie cause speech delay?

Tongue tie is more commonly linked with feeding difficulties in babies than speech delay.

Although some children with significant tongue tie may experience difficulties producing certain sounds later on, research hasn’t shown that tongue tie is a common cause of delayed language development. If you’re concerned, it’s worth discussing it with your healthcare professional.

For the record, my youngest had a pretty gnarly tongue tie, but was an ‘early’ talker. 

Can torticollis cause speech delay?

Torticollis doesn’t directly cause speech delay. However, if a child has significant movement restrictions or other associated developmental challenges, it may indirectly affect communication opportunities. Your healthcare team can assess whether any additional support is needed.

Can speech delay be a sign of ADHD?

ADHD doesn’t usually present as speech delay in toddlers.

Some children who are later diagnosed with ADHD also experience speech or language difficulties, but delayed talking on its own isn’t enough to suggest ADHD. Most toddlers are also too young for an ADHD assessment.

Did I cause my child’s speech delay?

This is perhaps the question parents ask themselves most often.

The answer is almost always no.

Speech and language development is influenced by many factors, including genetics, hearing, overall development and individual differences. Missing a few bedtime stories, allowing screen time or feeling like you didn’t “talk enough” to your child isn’t a cause of speech delay.

If your child does need support, the most important thing is recognising it early and seeking advice – not blaming yourself.

What are my next steps?

Trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s always okay to ask.

Speak to your health visitor or GP if your child:

• Has no recognisable words by around 18 months
• Has fewer than around 50 words by age two
• Isn’t beginning to combine two words by around two years
• Doesn’t seem to understand simple instructions
• Has lost words or skills they previously had
• Has hearing concerns or struggles to respond to sounds

An assessment doesn’t automatically mean there’s a serious problem. It simply helps identify whether your child would benefit from some extra support.

Every child follows their own path

Watching your child develop is exciting, but it can also be filled with uncertainty.

Some toddlers who are ‘quiet’ at 18 months become confident ‘chatterboxes’ just a few months later. Others benefit from speech and language therapy, hearing assessments or additional support to help them thrive. We’re not about labels, however, and this is absolutely a life long developmental curve!

Whatever your situation, remember that asking questions is never overreacting. You know your child better than anyone else, and seeking advice early gives them the very best opportunity to reach their full potential.

On your watch list

I can’t recommend SJ Strum’s support here enough, for lived experience and all the pointers. Check out her Speech Delay and Therapy playlist or pick and choose from her individual videos: 

• 5 signs of toddler speech delay
• 10 effective speech therapy ideas to do at home
• My fears for my speech delayed child
• Starting school with Special Education Needs – a mum’s tips and ideas
• How to fix behaviour issues with play
• Did speech therapy work? 1 year update 
• Speech delay and therapy – Finn’s 3 year story, in his words
• Addressing assumptions about special educational needs
• 4 parenting books that made me question it all!