Donor Conception

The Odds are Against Me – But I Still Have Hope

Eloise Edington  |   10 Jan 2022

Our fertility community is always bursting with messages of hope and support (download our free app).

Here, one member under the name “Solo Mummy Donor Conceived”, shares her thoughts on hope and moving forwards.

Over to Solo Mummy Donor Conceived (find her Instagram here).

One year closes and another one begins…  Time moving forwards is one thing that is guaranteed to happen in our lives and as we enter 2022, I’ve been thinking if “hope” is always as constant in our lives as time.

Fertility is often wrapped up in the word “hope”.  My journey this last year has included (to say in just a snapshot – which doesn’t give it justice): my 2nd, 3rd and 4th rounds of IVF, plus two attempts to remove a polyp.  A frozen embryo transfer, two fresh double embryo transfers, one negative pregnancy test, one positive pregnancy test and a miscarriage.

Some might say to me, as a single woman with no known fertility issues (other than missing a man/sperm), entering my second round of IVF at the start of the year was a “hopeful” stage to be in.  Why shouldn’t I get pregnant this time around?  I was hoping to have a baby by the second or maybe third cycle of IVF.

That is not what happened, and as I write this, I am still childless and not pregnant – yet.

That word “yet” shows hope.

I may have had less faith that the fourth round was going to be any different to the other three rounds of IVF, but it never took away from the hope that it would work.  Ideally, you want hope and faith to be high but the reality is we’re all human and our feelings are ever fluctuating.

Hope is a state of mind, hope gives you motivation, hope gives you purpose.  Hope doesn’t blind me from the truth that my eggs are not good, that the odds are against me.  Hope means there is still desire to find a way to achieve my family-building plans.

Related article: Community hope for 2022.

This past year has taught me this journey is a marathon, not a sprint.

Along the way I must top up the energy, top up the positive thinking and top up the resilience to keep going.

There is always hope; there is always the possibility.

This January, think about what direction you go in with your fertility plans.  Do you keep trying to conceive or do you step aside and take another path?  Both choices require hope in your heart: hope to find contentment, hope for a “better” life – however that looks for you.

For me, 2022 entails the hope that now I embark the journey of both donor eggs and sperm to make my dreams turn into reality.  My faith may waver, my energy levels may dip but my hope for a baby in my arms will never leave me.

What is your hope?  Being realistic to the circumstances around you will help but decide what is it you hope for, then take small steps to reach your goal.

We’d like to thank Solo Mummy Donor Conceived for her beautiful words on “hope”.

If you have a story you’d like to share, get in touch with Holly via the FHH Instagram.

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