In a recent social media post, I wrote:
“Family, friends and peers who don’t understand how traumatic it is to constantly be questioned or offer suggestions (‘Maybe you should try this’, ‘Have you tried this position?’ or ‘Have you prayed?’ What this suggests is that [my partner and I] must have missed something. Be thankful you can’t comprehend the magnitude of how badly [these comments] hurt. You never know what people are going through, you never know the battles people face! I won’t apologize for my imperfect days and my husband won’t apologize for the days we just simply don’t have to energy to celebrate others! Imagine 5 years of congratulating others and coming home, bawling your eyes out, wondering if it would ever be us?!
We still show up, we still push through.
Please be kind, be sensitive and be aware because you may think that person has an attitude, but they could be waging an unimaginable battle.”
Following this post, I received a massive response from women all over the world who’ve felt invalidated by hurtful comments about their fertility and had to deal with people’s insensitive remarks.
For me, this showed the importance of bringing awareness to the non-infertile community about how to speak with a friend or family member suffering from infertility.
Beyond the insensitive comments, small gestures have the power to ease the agonising pain of infertility. I would like to share the time one nurse, and one hug made an impact on the worst day of my life.