Infertility – 4 Tips To Celebrate Mother’s Day Without Heartache

Eloise Edington  |   5 May 2020

In the UK, Mother’s Day has been and gone. I can sympathise with breathing out sighs of relief. However, Sunday 10th May marks Mothering Sunday in the USA & Canada and it can be a painful day when you’re waiting to become a mother or are a mother but no longer have that child in your arms. With this in mind, we thought it was important not to ignore the day but to ask expert fertility coach, Saskia Roell, the best ways to navigate what can be a painful day, watching others bask in everything your heart aches for.

Let’s own the topic – infertility on Mother’s Day is very difficult

With all the celebrations of those who are mothers (including their own mother), it’s a very real reminder of the heartache and disappointment you can feel while struggling to have your baby. But I want to give you some tips for what you can do, so that Mother’s Day can also be a day to nurture and a time to heal your mind, body, and soul in a fun way that can bring joy. From writing a love letter to your future baby to using this day for extra self care, I give you 4 ways to celebrate the day without heartache.

Mother’s Day – 4 ways to celebrate yourself

Self care – mother yourself

My first recommendation is to make extra time for self-care – whether that is “binge-watching” your favorite Netflix series, cuddling up on the couch with your tea and hubby or even indulging in three guilty pleasures.

What is your top guilty pleasure?

Self-care is essential because most women (and 99% of my fertility clients) always feel that they aren’t doing enough to get pregnant.

They have so many “have-to’s” in their mind. Therefore, Mother’s Day is a beautiful day to take time out, focus on self-care and not think about the things you have to do. Mother Yourself.

Stop negative talk

My second recommendation is to stop the negative self-talk. After working for the last 23 years with women who struggle to get pregnant, the #1 habit I see is that they have a lot of negative self-talk. One day they are hopeful, the next day they are hopeless, and they are putting themselves through an emotional rollercoaster. That’s why my Get Pregnant Now program Body & Mind approach is geared towards changing the neurological pathways of the brain, because it directly affects the body. Fear changes the chemistry of your body.

For example, change negative talk like “what if I’m too old” to “what if I’m the perfect age to conceive,” “what if I miscarry” to “what if I trust my body’s innate wisdom to carry my baby full term”? This simple tweak, the retraining of the brain, is a powerful way to double your chances of conceiving. I literally see how my clients reset their minds, start to feel emotionally stable and believe in their body again and become pregnant. Even if they have struggled for 10 years, or are 47 years old, they now hold babies in their arms.

Scientific study shows when women do a Body-Mind approach along with IVF or natural conception, it doubles their chances of success. I see in my practice how my clients, who almost lost hope, are getting pregnant even to their doctor’s great surprise.

Ways to Celebrate Yourself create a dream board

Create your dream board

My third recommendation is to create your dream board for your life and include what it can look like over the next two years. A dream board creates an imprint on your brain that is more powerful than you may think. These dream boards were created by my clients. Instead of spending Mother’s Day dreading about not being pregnant, it can open your mind to all the great things that you have in life and all the dreams that you want to accomplish.

Often women who have trouble conceiving put all of their dreams on hold. This vision board is a way to remind them to enjoy life, pursue their dreams and keep their vision of trying to conceive alive.

Write a love letter to your baby

Lastly, I recommend for women to write a letter to their unborn child. In the long and lonely journey of infertility, often women lose connection with their body and baby. Many times, women long to feel connected to their baby but they don’t know how. A beautiful, fun way, especially on Mother’s Day, is to write a letter to your future child and share your desires and feelings.  Begin the process by letting your child know that he or she is welcomed. Share how you met your partner and share how great life can be with you. Tell them about your hobbies. You can even make this a fun ritual by lighting your favorite candle and putting on music while enjoying this special connection with your baby.

Don’t walk the journey alone. There is hope and there is help, and, if you have tried everything, you have to look deeper. Find other ways to discover what is blocking your pregnancy. The Body Mind approach is where I teach that the road to motherhood can also be fun. I love to help you! Keep your baby dream alive!

Watch the 3 Free Videos here.


I believe every woman who longs to become a mom deserves to hold her baby in her arms.

Sweet baby whispers,

Saskia Roell

If you’d like to hear more from Saskia, read her previous article about keeping pregnancy hope here.

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