Trying to Conceive Sucks – A Man’s Perspective by Mosie Baby

Eloise Edington  |   10 Sep 2020

Here at The Ribbon Box, we’re all about helping our readers within the TTC Community to find the most innovative and trustworthy products to help with conception. We know from first-hand experience just how many gels and other products there are out there and it can be a minefield!

Check out our latest fertility blog article, where we dig deeper to find all out about The Mosie Kit.an innovative syringe for helping make a baby at home. Mosie is a proven, MD-endorsed, affordable option worth considering before more costly invasive options like IUI at a fertility clinic.

It has provided fertility help for people from all walks of life including: couples diagnosed with unexplained infertility, LGBTQ+ families, and single mothers by choice (SMC). Mosie has also helped those facing vaginismus (painful intercourse), endometriosis, tilted uterus and PCOS, and has helped those with male factor issues including low motility, low sperm count, and performance anxiety. Insemination is a key piece of the conception puzzle, and Mosie keeps it simple, affordable, and private. – ‘as familiar to use as a tampon’.

Meet Marc, Co-founder of Mosie, as he shares his personal story and what led him to invent this unique syringe, which helped him conceive his second child from home.

Over to Marc…

Trying For a Baby Affects Your Sex Life

So I’m just going to say it. Trying to conceive sucks. Don’t get me wrong, sex doesn’t suck. But having sex is not the same as trying for a baby. In fact they couldn’t be less similar despite the fact that they both involve getting naked.

Let me explain…

Sex to most men is a pleasurable experience. It’s something that usually ends with an orgasm followed by a nap. What’s not to love?

Trying for a baby might be described with the same words…for the first few months. After this however there’s a “shift”. It might be subtle at first. You may not entirely understand it right away, but you’ll feel it. Something is different. And the longer the conception train rolls on, the more pronounced it becomes.

Here’s why…

Once sex for pleasure becomes sex for procreation, you’re no longer volunteering for duty. You are being drafted. Your mission is to redirect your blood-flow and have an orgasm on command. That’s insane. Oh and you’ll need to hurry because: “I have to be back to work in 10 minutes”, “my parents are on their way over”, “we’ll miss our doctor’s appointment” and so on.

That may be a slight exaggeration, whatever the case, and I know that people have different fertility experiences, but the presumption that men are like dogs and can “rise to the occasion” at the mere mention of sex is a myth. And I’m here to dispel that myth by sharing a little secret with you ladies: we need to be in the mood just like you.

Related article – Fertility Springboard Podcast with Alex Reid and the Male Perspective & Law of Attraction


The Psychological Factors

There are also psychological factors to consider for both women and men. Failing is always in the back of your mind, especially if you’ve been trying to conceive for a long time. Everyone has different fertility experiences, in our case 30 months, that’s right we were 0 for 30.

And there are so many opportunities for failure when trying for a baby. For men it’s obvious, the party can’t start without an “erect participant”. Likewise it can’t end without getting your boys from point A to point B.

For women it’s less immediate but no less subtle, like the two week wait,(2WW), when women get to take a test confirming said failure and then must deliver the news to their partner. And if that’s not bad enough, they’re reminded yet again with a menstrual cycle. Yikes.

But it goes deeper. Men may not be burdened with delivering the disappointing news each month, but we do have to react to it and good luck with that! Receiving disappointing news month after month and putting on a positive face takes effort.

Failing at something so intimate can also have unforeseen emotional consequences for both parties. I don’t enjoy failing and I resent you for recruiting me to fail at the same thing every month. Did those words come out of my mouth? Probably not. Was this what I was thinking? Very likely, albeit subconsciously.

Meanwhile, everyone in your circle seems to be magically getting pregnant and everyone you see on the street is now pushing a stroller.

And what about your normal sex life? The one where you’re not trying for a baby. Well, it’s complicated now. How do you engage in sex for pleasure when it’s betrayed you like clockwork every month, leaving you frustrated and hopeless? Failing at conception can take a toll on your normal sex life.

Related Article – How Infertility has Rocked these Women’s Romantic Relationships; and How Communication has Improved Them

How To Avoid Sex Becoming A Chore

There are some things you can do to make trying to conceive suck less. While it may be difficult, communicating openly during all of this madness is critical to not feeling alone and reinforcing that everyone’s on the same team. And that means being able to have an open dialogue about alternative fertility help options like home insemination as a potential step in your conception journey. It’s A-OK to have some help.

Consider giving yourselves a break from the pressure of “performing” on command by using a tool like Mosie. It gives you flexibility that sex just doesn’t. You can be intimate if you want, but you can also be left alone to do your thing. And, it can ensure you don’t miss a window if logistics or emotions are complicated. It’s perfect for delivering your swimmers to their destination. Kind of like Uber, but for sperm!

We all love sex, but this is about getting a job done. I say ditch the stress, communicate with each other and try some options at home, like Mosie.

So how does our story end? After being diagnosed with unexplained infertility after 2.5 years of trying, we looked for at home options, to avoid expensive fertility consults and treatments with fertility specialists, but couldn’t find any products we liked. This was nearly seven years ago and there was very little available. The idea of Mosie came to us, but it didn’t exist just yet, so we ended up having our first child with the help of IUI. Thankfully, our second was conceived at home with the help of Mosie after one single cycle!


Exclusive TRB Reader Discount

If this fertility blog has inspired you to try at-home insemination as a next step and you are eager to find out more, than why not look into Mosie? They could end up supporting you with exactly the right fertility help to get that much longed for BFP (big fat positive).

What’s not to love, what’s not to try? We hope it helps you as it has others.

For 10% off the Mosie kit, Marc and his team are offering our TRB readers a 10% discount with the code ‘10TRB’ at checkout. Click here to find out more and purchase. International shipping.

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