Maybe you are (TTC) trying to conceive and considering whether to use a sperm donor for fertility treatment, or perhaps you have already chosen a sperm donor to help extend your family. When I (Eloise) was going through it, I had so many questions and I still often think about our sperm donor and what the connection might be with him and our children in years to come. Like me, no matter where you are in the process, you might be curious to know why some men choose to become sperm donors:
To answer these questions, we’ve been in touch with trusted sperm and egg bank, Cryos International, who have interviewed three of their donors to give us more insight.
Over to the Sperm Donors at Cryos International
www.dk.cryosinternational.com | @cryosinternational
Why Did you Become a Sperm Donor?
Jacob is a 26-year-old medical student from Denmark. When he decided to become a donor at Cryos, he wanted to help make the dreams of singles and couples come true:
“I chose to become a sperm donor because I like the idea that I can help some people to achieve their dream. And I believe it’s a brilliant and beautiful thought, to think that I can provide the basis for a new life.”
25-year-old Henrik had some of the same thoughts when becoming a donor at Cryos:
“I’m a donor because there are many people who can’t have children. I feel privileged that I’m healthy and well enough to help them. It’s a big deal for me, and I know it means a lot to those people that I can help.”
Thomas is a father with four children. His main reason for donating is to help other people have the same experience he has had.
“I have children and have experienced the great joy you get from having children in your life. I thought that it was a small thing for me to do if I could help people who couldn’t have children to have the same experiences. That was my motivation.”
Related Article – ‘How Do Sperm Banks Select Donors?’
For 42-year-old Thomas however, the actual idea to become a sperm donor happened after a conversation he had with his grandfather.
“It came about originally because of a long chat I had with my grandfather about being a decent person. I didn’t think I was a bad person, but I started to speculate that I could do more. I realised this was one of the things where I could actually make a difference. I could help childless couples, so they could experience having children.”
Further to this, student Jacob also mentions that receiving a small compensation for his donations is just a bonus:
“Naturally, there’s a financial aspect to it and, as a student, it’s nice to get a little extra with my student grant allowance.” (The compensation the donors receive is not a payment, but for time, effort and transportation.)
Have you Considered the Children you’re Helping to Create?
All three donors have thoughts about the children who will be born thanks to their help. Jacob elaborates:
“I can of course understand some of the concerns you can have when bringing children into the world. But, the way I see it, children are part of the families and environments that they grow up in. We have shown that we can certainly foster children and give them a really good life, even though they are not genetically related to their parents, and from that perspective it’s easy to be a donor.”
Henrik recognises that some people may have prejudices towards men who are sperm donors, but he says:
“I’ve thought a lot about the fact that many people will be prejudiced against me, thinking I’m going to have a lot of kids running around the city in a couple of years. But, it’s just not like that. I think more about the fact that there are children who come into the world to parents who get the child they wanted above everything else.”
Most people who are going to use a sperm donor to help them conceive will have struggled to get the child of their dreams. Thomas says: “I think that must be the best starting point.”
Whilst Thomas may have had the four children he wished for, Henrik thinks about having children of his own sometime in the future:
“I’ve thought about having kids in a few years. So, I understand without a doubt the feeling people have of wanting to have children. Bringing a child into the world must be an amazing thing, especially for those who have been trying to conceive but couldn’t without fertility help from a sperm donor. That must be the best feeling there is.”
Related Article – ‘Sperm Donation – 5 Top Tips for choosing a Sperm Donor’
A big thanks to Cryos for sharing the thoughts and feelings of some of their donors. You should check out their recently launched, new website. It includes an updated sperm donor search, far superior to what I had available at the time! This makes it easy for you to view the donors’ childhood photos, handwritten messages, Q&A’s, voice recordings and much more.
Collaboratively, Cryos International and FHH hope that this will make the selection of your donor a little easier. You should check it out here.
*Note that the men in the pictures are not sperm donors
If you’ve found this article useful, why not take a look at our list of sperm donor clinics.