Causes & Treatment

Here’s How My Infertility Made Me Stronger

Eloise Edington | 29 Dec 2021

When we asked our FHH community (download the free app here) about fertility hopes for 2022, members approached us with longer stories of infertility and fertility treatment.

Here, Paige shares her story about difficulty TTC, sadness of ending 2021 without a baby and hope for what 2022 brings.

Over to Paige…

My husband Chris and I got married on 28 October 2017. Our plan was to start trying for a baby right away and that’s what we did. Little did we know, it wasn’t going to be so easy…

One year into trying and multiple tests later we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility – words I wasn’t quite ready to hear. The thing with being told you have unexplained infertility is that all your boxes are checked on paper; you’re “perfectly healthy”, you’re perfectly capable of having a child but for some unexplained reason it just doesn’t happen and, unfortunately, they can’t tell you why.

They also don’t tell you how you will begin questioning every single thing you do, eat and drink in hopes that maybe it’s the coffee you drink every morning that’s preventing you getting pregnant so you’ll give that up for a couple months and hopefully conceive.

They don’t tell you you’ll now question every single thing you do.

Utterly Devastated

Following our diagnosis, we did three rounds of Clomid with my obgyn and, when all three rounds failed, we saw a fertility specialist.

We had three IUIs in the middle of 2019. Our hopes were so high going into that first IUI. It failed and before we even had time to process the loss of that cycle we were already into IUI Number Two. That one also failed.

We jumped right into IUI Number Three. Another failure – and total devastation.

Second Opinions

We took a break from all things infertility after that last failed cycle.

When we were ready again we got a second opinion. (To read what FHH think of second opinions, click here.) We saw a new infertility specialist in May 2020 and I had laparoscopic exploratory surgery that September. After the surgery I was told I have stage 2 endometriosis and the doctor was able to remove it, however, we were told the endometriosis tissue would come back – and it has.

In November 2020, I had healed from surgery and we began our fourth IUI. Once again, we had extremely high hopes that this would work and once again it didn’t.

We were heartbroken and I wasn’t really sure where we would go from here. Our health insurance doesn’t cover infertility treatments and the financial aspect was taking its toll, as were the overwhelming emotions.

An Alternate Reality

Entering 2021 we tried to envision what life looks like without a child. Is that something we were willing to accept; that maybe parenthood wasn’t in our cards? The more we sat and thought about it the more we realized we were just trying to convince ourselves otherwise and deep down our hearts hold a special place for our future child.

Infertility doesn’t come with an instruction manual.

Finding a Solution

We worked out the financial price tag of IVF is around $25,000 and know this is what’s holding us back from trying IVF.

In summer 2021, inspiration struck. I decided to start making hand-poured, all natural soy candles in an effort to help raise the funds we need to do IVF. After a few months of research, Hope Candles by Paige was launched [Paige’s Etsy shop can be found here] and I begin my little business to help us continue this journey.

Paige’s Advice to Others

Infertility doesn’t come with an instruction manual. You don’t know how to navigate the emotions of it until you are knee-deep in it. You learn more about yourselves than you ever imagined – it isn’t easy, to say the least.

But what infertility does teach you is the true meaning of hope. You hold onto it to get you through the dark days. Infertility shows you strength and just how strong you will become, not only as a person but as a couple. It will show you how much love your heart is capable of holding especially for the space you make for your future baby-to-be.

We wish Paige and Chris all the luck with their family-building plans. If you have a story you’d like to share, send Holly a message on the FHH Instagram here.