LGBTQ+
“I Was Their Surrogate and we Will Forever be Intertwined”
Eloise Edington | 13 Apr 2022
Have you ever wondered why someone becomes a surrogate or what it’s like to be a surrogate?
Around the world, selfless women carry and birth the children of intended parents who are struggling with infertility or who cannot carry a child themselves. The reasons someone becomes a surrogate are deeply personal and every woman’s experience of surrogacy is different but one thing ties them together: their caring nature to help others.
Here, Fertility Help Hub speak with gestational surrogate Grace about what it’s like to be a surrogate. Based in Nevada, US Surrogacy LLC (visit their profile here and their website here) is a global agency serving clients from all around the world.
Q: Could you tell us a little more about you and where you’re based?
My name is Grace and I am a 37-year-old wife and mother of 2 living in Central California. My husband and I have been together for 15 years and my children are 14 and 11. I work full time outside the home for a beauty company.
Q: Why did you decide to become a surrogate?
I have always loved helping others. I also loved being pregnant. But at this time our family is complete. Over the last few years, I have had several people in my life who have struggled to create a family of their own. I realized that I can help others create their family while getting that experience of another pregnancy. It seemed like a winning scenario for all. Going through the actual experience was truly so much more than that, but that is why I chose this journey in the beginning.
Q: How did you find out about US Surrogacy LLC? What was it about US Surrogacy LLC that made you want to become a surrogate with them?
I reached out to several agencies; at least 20. US Surrogacy was recommended to me by an acquaintance who had recently started a journey with them. At the time that I was calling agencies, I knew I had about 20 pounds to lose to be eligible. I was already well on my way to achieving that but most agencies told me to just call me back when I attained the weight loss goal. USS asked if they could support me along during the weight loss and I appreciated their faith in me. Additionally, I had reached out to them just weeks before the pandemic shut everything down and threw a wrench in everyone’s journeys, but they kept in constant contact with me and did all they could to assure me things would continue positively despite this new obstacle.
Q: How many times have you been a surrogate?
Just one so far, but I fully intend to do this again!
Q: Do you get paid?
I will say that although the compensation was appreciated, the lifetime of memories and love that was gained is priceless.
Q: What’s the process like of becoming a surrogate?
The process is definitely one that requires patience. Though it doesn’t usually take an extraordinary amount of time, everyone involved is excited and anxious to move quickly and that is where patience comes in. For me, I first had to have my medical records evaluated and approved by the intended parents’ fertility clinic. This took quite some time due to the age of my children, as I had to track down medical records that had been in storage. Once I was preliminarily approved, I then got matched with my amazing intended parents. My partner and I then both underwent some blood work and a psychological evaluation, and I had a physical exam. That moved us through medical clearance, and we then worked on contracts for legal clearance. After those were signed and approved we were given our transfer date!
Find out about US Surrogacy LLC’s basic surrogacy requirements and click here to become a surrogate with US Surrogacy LLC.
Q: Do you get a say in which intended parents you are matched with?
Most do, and I did. US Surrogacy did a fantastic job preliminarily matching me with a fantastic couple and we loved each other instantly.
Q: How much do you find out about the intended parents you’re the surrogate for? Do you meet them?
I found out basic information such as how long they had been together, what country they lived in, and what they do for work. Because they are international we had a Zoom meet and greet.
Q: Do you ever wonder about the children you birthed?
I do think about her often! But I consistently receive updates and pictures so luckily I don’t have to wonder too hard.
Q: Will you stay in touch with the families?
I will absolutely stay in touch with them and still correspond via text with them regularly, at least once a week. I can’t imagine us not having each other in our lives.
Q: What’s the best thing about being a surrogate?
I love the connection I made with the parents and the fact that we will forever be intertwined.
Q: What’s the hardest part of being a surrogate?
There is a level of uncertainty and anxiety that comes with every step along the process. I stayed optimistic and calm throughout, but the unknown can be a challenge.
Q: Are there any things that have surprised you about being a surrogate?
I did not expect to have the amount of love for my Intended Parents and their family that I do. At a minimum, I had hoped that we could be somewhat like Facebook acquaintances, where you get to watch from a distance and sort of see how their lives unfold. Our relationship has been so easy and comfortable and more like family. I was also surprised by some of the challenges that we faced due to COVID but that is par for the course these days.
Q: What have you learnt about surrogacy that you didn’t know when you started?
I learned that I am the luckiest! Not everyone has the smooth experience I did.
Q: What advice would you give other people considering becoming a surrogate?
Seek other surrogates for support and advice. We can all learn from each other and support each other. I know there are many women out there who are considering being a surrogate but don’t have enough information and are afraid to ask. Fear not! There are many such as myself who are so happy to share.
We’d like to thank Grace for taking the time to answer our questions about being a surrogate.
