Healthy Mind
How to Make Sex Fun When Trying to Conceive
Eloise Edington | 6 Dec 2021
Between the ovulation tracking and the pregnancy tests, it can easily feel like sex becomes a chore when TTC. Many in our FHH community wonder how to make sex more fun when trying to conceive and we know how difficult it can be to enjoy sex when you’re focusing on getting pregnant.
Working with your partner can help keep your relationship strong during a potentially stressful time. (You can read our other wellbeing posts here.)
Fortunately, there are ways of keeping sex fun when trying for a baby.
Here, Somatic Sex Coach, Stella Anna Sonnenbaum, shares her advice for spicing up your sex life when TTC naturally.
Over to Stella.
Trying for a baby doesn’t mean sex has to be without fun and pleasure. In fact, this could be a perfect time to actually look at what’s hot for you and your partner (and what’s not) and to have an open and honest conversation about it.
While we all have different things that turn us on, below you’ll find a smorgasbord of ideas to help you get into the mood – and play together!
Sensual Senses
This takes a willing companion, a bit of preparation, and a blindfold! You need to make a really comfortable place in your bed where you can recline. On a table nearby, have everything you need: interesting fruit, chocolate, essential oils you like, chimes and touch toys. You may also ask your partner to prepare some candles and a feast for the eyes once you take your blindfold off.
- Let’s start with the sense of smell. Your partner begins to approach your nostrils with essential oils and then changes to teasing your olfactory nerve with the sweet and citrus smell of fruit…
- You guessed it, that leads us to taste! Have your partner feed you the fruit, perhaps dipping it in chocolate and allowing you to lick it off before putting it in your mouth.
- For the sense of touch, try temperature play. Metal objects – they live in the kitchen, perhaps – can be put in the fridge or warmed in warm water – just be cautious of extreme temperatures. Soft feathers or fabrics can provide a more sensual experience.
- Chimes or little bells can be quite magical at this point, to cater to the sense of hearing. Or maybe the soft sound of your partner breathing into your neck is more arousing?
- Once you take your blindfold off, enjoy the little feast prepared for you, and the sight of your partner draped in something beautiful and sexy.
A Little Spanking
Doggy style is a great position to conceive, so if that position is a turn-on for both of you, all the better! Doggy style also means that the buttocks are exposed and higher in the air, so you may want to experiment with light impact play. Whether it’s slapping with your hand or using paddles, there are three important things to think about:
- First of all, wake up the touch sensors by using soft, gentle touch on the buttocks and along the back. Once you and your partner are feeling aroused, you may decide together to vary the impact between very soft spanks and firmer ones.
- Secondly, aim for the sweet spot. When you draw a line between the buttocks and thighs, the “sweet spot” is about an inch in from the midline; closer to the genitals than to the outside of the thighs.
- Finally, make sure to communicate what feels right for you. Ask your partner for the impact level that feels good. A great way to do this is to use a scale of impact from 1 to 10. Discover together the level of impact you both enjoy so it’s fun for both of you. Remember, if one of you isn’t comfortable or isn’t enjoying it, it’s okay to stop. Communication is one of the sexiest tools in your box.
Go Shopping
Eroticism and turn-ons are a lifelong journey of discovery and when browsing sex toys you may find out what you and your partner are drawn to. Whether it’s a new vibrator to play with together, sensation toys, role play props or lingerie, shopping for boudoir treats is a great sex conversation starter, and may well lead to steamy lovemaking.
Cultural Delights
Erotic material does not have to equal porn! Sharing an erotic story at bedtime, listening to erotic stories or researching other forms can be a lot of fun – and it’s a great way to get in the mood. You may want to start off delving into ancient Indian woodcuts, erotic photography, paintings or drawings.
Enjoy discovering new expressions of eroticism together.
We love Stella’s exciting ideas for how to make sex not feel like a chore when trying to conceive. Hopefully, these tips will help our community (download the free app here) enjoy sex when trying for a baby or maybe they’ll spark some sexy ideas of your own!
