Egg freezing has been a big topic of conversation and in the media a lot, especially over the past six months. The UK legal limit to only store frozen eggs for ten years has been questioned and has been extended for an extra two years due to Covid-19 delays. Even with this extension, what happens if women aren’t in a position to make a decision or use their eggs after this time, are they forced to discard them? Many of our readers at FHH are looking at future options and with this in mind, we spoke to Nadine, who talks for the first time openly about what she did and why.
Over to Nadine…
The Tick Tock of My Biological Clock
I was never the maternal type. In fact, when I was young, I proclaimed that I did not want children. Whilst my friends were having babies, I would ‘coochy coo’ from a distance and think about my next holiday destination.
As I entered my thirties my biological clock started ticking, albeit quietly at first. It would go through waves of desperately wanting a child and then being thankful I was dependent and free. I also made the self-commitment that if I were to have a child, it would be under the condition of being financially secure, meeting a suitable guy, getting married and living happily ever after. You are probably familiar with this story, as continuously played out in romantic Hollywood movies.
As I focused on my career and enjoyed all of life’s blessings, I soon realised that time was passing and that majestic guy had not shown up. To make matters worse, that biological clock was now ticking louder.
Read here about an inspiring woman, Becky who turned to donor eggs to create her family.
I was beginning to feel scared and desperate. I was however not desperate enough to give up on my fairy-tale dream. This vicious cycle of anguish and defiance therefore continued for a number of years. Feeling helpless and hopeless, I hated the notion that my choice to enter motherhood was in the hands of someone else and I had to sit, idle, waiting for this miracle man to arrive.
I decided enough was enough. I realised that the power was actually within me, and I had subconsciously given this away to someone that didn’t yet exist. It was time to claim my power back. Science had provided women a choice and I had all the tools available to give myself a chance at having a child. I was still relatively young, had an income and a supportive network. All that was left was for me to change my mindset and take ownership of my own destiny.
Considering egg freezing? Playback our #fertilityexpertslive with Dr Venkat from Harley Street Fertility Clinic all about egg freezing – process, cost and success rates.
So, I Decided to Freeze my Eggs
I researched clinics both in the UK and abroad and opted for a clinic in Prague, as the standards appeared comparatively high but more affordable for my budget. I was assigned an English-speaking guardian who translated and assisted me through the entire process. There were however the added logistics of having to attend appointments and perform the procedure abroad. I will be honest; the process was not easy. I was not quite prepared for the physical nor the physiological impact IVF can have on you.
Once the Dust Settled, I felt Empowered by my Actions. I had Released the Negative Emotional Charge I was Carrying i.e. Desperation, Fear, Doubt – Turned this into Courage, Hope and Security
As a modern woman, I see egg freezing as one of the best life investments I have made. If I don’t have to use my frozen eggs, fantastic – this means my dream man finally arrived. If I did, then I am glad I had a Plan B. Win-win. I am an advocate of women not feeling that they have somehow ‘missed the boat’ due to not meeting a suitable partner, wanting to focus on their careers or simply waiting until the time was right for them. There is a ticket that can be purchased if we are serious about catching the boat, as once it has sailed, there won’t be another one. Freezing your eggs at least provides a chance to get onboard.
Freezing your Eggs should Not be Taken Lightly. However once you Have Made that Decision, I would Encourage you to Consider the Following:
Change mindset: Rather than thinking that you may have somehow failed, are hopeless in this situation or perhaps embarrassed that you have to consider this path; turn these thoughts into a positive. Remember you are empowering yourself. You are guiding the direction of your own life and are demonstrating the strength to do what is right for you. There is no shame in pursuing your goal and this action should be celebrated.
Research: As with any operation, IVF comes with a level of risk, so it is imperative to research thoroughly. Understand what is right for you, your body and budget. Investigate the various procedures available as well as the different rules governing each country – standards, procedures and facilities where the treatment will be undertaken and eggs stored.
Get support: Get professional advice if you can. Talk to other women who may have had IVF or get support from close family and friends. Seek a counsellor or coach if you require a non-judgmental space to discuss your journey. The most important thing is not to travel this journey alone.
Empower Yourself – it is Your Choice!
If you’d like to participate and share your story, please message us here. The more, we talk, the less we are alone.