How I (don’t) entertain my kids all summer – 7 could-dos to cut the guilt factor

To set the tone for this feature, I need to address some pretty chunky mum (parent) guilt of my own. 

We haven’t taken our kids on a ‘big’ holiday, ever. They’re now aged four and six – my Covid baby four year-old doesn’t even have a passport – and to them, a ‘big’ holiday is something which might happen one day. They also know why – we’re spending a lot of money making our house better, and we can’t squeeze in a ‘big’ holiday right now. 

My kids went camping this year, right at the start of the summer holidays. A week in north Cornwall, in the loveliest campsite, right on the sea. The weather was mixed, we walked the headland, treated ourselves to ice creams and chips, flopped on the beach in the sun and rockpooled in thick jumpers in the drizzle. It was glorious.

When we got home, my husband went back to a full-on work schedule. I had one day of legitimate life-sorting while the kids re-acclimatised, and then the expectation management set in.

Mummy, you promised X could come over for a play date …

Mummy, can we do soft play? 

What are we doing today Mummy? 

The thing is, I really want to ‘bring it’ on all of these requests and categories. I’m actually pretty brilliant at planning fun. My husband calls it ‘bringing the wonder’, which is kind of him. 

Others would say I make a rod for my own back, and create way too much expectation, throwing myself into imaginary games and kitchen table projects until, inevitably, my emotional capacity (‘mummy’s battery’, to my kids) is zapped and I’m on my third strong coffee by 5pm, googling mum guilt help and eating random things from the fridge. 

Blueprints save lives

Which leads into step one, on my own beta mode survival plan for the 2024 summer holiday. 

We’re a little over half way through, and it’s going pretty well so far. Of course, it could all fall apart at any moment, but the great thing about having a blueprint is that even if you run aground (we’ve all been there, with the summer parenting day from hell), you’ve got the framework to call it a day, whack Peppa on and try again tomorrow, when everyone’s cooled off. 

Here are all the ways that I don’t keep my kids entertained over the summer holidays. I’ll set them up, sure. I’ll probably drip-feed a few ideas, and may get involved for 10-20 minutes at a time. I’ll get us from A to B, fed, watered and roughly in one piece. 

I’ll dip in and out, when really, truly necessary. But it’s more a case of looking at the weeks ahead, plugging in a few options and ideas, and steering the ship to the September motherland. Here’s how I do it.

1. Set expectations

Yours, and theirs. Families in the UK currently have around six holiday weeks to fill every summer – although, momentously, this may be changing – and to avoid burn out, we all need an age-appropriate reality check. 

At the start of the summer, regroup with your kids and show them how the weeks ahead look in your calendar. Even better, print them out, so that you can all mark things down and fix the ‘outlook’ in your head. 

While you’re running through the calendar, show your kids any ‘big’ dates (holidays, weddings, birthdays, planned days out, play dates, appointments and so on), and explain that in-between these dates, there’s going to be some free play, pj days, garden-based time, etc – whatever you have in mind as low-key/budget living. 

I found that marking big dates on the calendar with the kids (trust me, a solid half-hour activity in itself) and shading all the ‘down time’ in with their favourite highlighter (another 20 minutes) meant they’d started to ‘get it’ before we’d even hit the runway.

2. Make a bucket list

If you don’t follow Emily Norris, do so immediately. I’ve relied on Emily’s YouTube videos in particular, across the last five years at least, for all things parenting sanity and inspiration. And the bucket list idea very much comes from her channel – this video is absolutely fab, if you’re looking for summer holiday survival tips. 

For your bucket list, sit down with the kids and ask them to write down – or you can write down for them – seven to ten things they’d really like to do this summer, and add in a few of your own, too. 

Make them realistic – these are things you need to be able to make happen, remember – and if it’s not possible this year, be up-front but upbeat. For example, no we can’t head to Disneyland this summer. 

But, we can absolutely make a UK theme park our ‘big ticket’ outing in August (keep reading for more on this) and have a Disney movie night every Friday during the holidays, complete with pizza and fruit kebabs (my four year-old’s request). 

Here’s what our family bucket list looks like (note, not everything is ‘free’ – let’s be real, here – but more a blend of splash-outs and zero added cost).

Four year-old summer bucket list

• Have Robert over for a play date 
• Take birthday money to the shop, and buy football stickers
• Go on the underground 
• Play football in the park with a picnic 
• Repeat last year’s fire station open day visit (complete with ice creams and hose prizes)

Six year-old summer bucket list

• Meet friends at the local splash fountains 
• Have a ‘spa day’ at home with Mummy 
• Re-stock art caddy with new stationery bits 
• Have hot dogs and a family disco 
• Go blackberry picking

Mummy/Daddy bucket list

• One seaside visit, and pub tea 
• School shoes trip (measuring, choosing and catwalk back at home) 
• x 2 off-duty days each (no questions asked) 
• Family swim day
• One date night (note to self, book babysitter)

3. Challenge/reward chart

I know, I know. Fun mummy is really having a moment here. 

But we’ve had massive success with a pretty specific challenge chart this summer – namely one that my mum put together with my six-year old (the four year-old chipped in, too) for looking after her dogs whilst she’s away. 

4. Find your tribe

By ‘tribe’, I really mean the people in your life and eyeline, who inspire and help you to breathe through these long (sometimes hot, often rainy) days of summer holiday madness. 

Whether it’s the family next door – if you’re lucky enough to live next to a family you get on well with – extended family around the UK who you could visit or host, local friends, far-flung friends, groups and clubs, see what people are up to and work out whether a play date swap might work, or a family visit to a local park for football and a water fight, or a movie night at yours. 

Also in your tribe (I firmly believe) are the screen-based heroes and unicorns who truly save parenting sanity across the summer holidays, confirming that you are not alone in finding this whole thing tough/boring/overwhelming/overstimulating/exhausting, at times. And, who may spark a little joy and inspiration, as you navigate.

My fave parenting accounts, for summer survival

• Emily Norris – read back for more detail, I’ve followed Emily for years (YouTube and Insta) for unbeatable support and inspo
• Five Minute Mum – author Daisy Upton has written a clutch of fantastic books, creating fun out of pretty-much nothing, and letting kids get to work with their own minds and imaginations
• Inspire My Play – the gorgeous mum/teacher-founded account inspiring families to get creative at home – I’m currently obsessed with working through their ultimate best-of summer post, from three-ingredient pastel bubble foam to moon sand and flower potions 
• Raising Her – from making butterfly wings to just mooching around blackberry picking and letting the kids do their thing, bask in the slow living chilledness of Sabra’s seasonal play ideas
• Victoria Emes – if a healthy dose of hilarity, reality, and sisterhood is what you need, Victoria’s your girl. Your unfiltered mum Insta mate, she’s also founded FitBtch – strength-based workouts designed exclusively for women

5. Water, water, water

And I’m not talking about hydration – although that’s important, too! 

Put those swimming lessons and practice to good use, or dust off a few skills across the summer with days spent in/on/around the water, where you can. It’s often cheap, almost always fun, and occasionally, free. 

My six year-old is on an assignment from her swimming teacher to get used to having her face in the water, so we’re building in pool visits, a trip to my parent’s local river (where there are a few sandy inlets), fountain hopping back in London (there are so many good ones locally, totally free aside from the requisite ice-cream and sunscreen requirements!)

Plus, that bucket list day by the sea on the Kent coastline and all of the paddling pool fun at home. 

6. Build in one hero outing

By building in one knock-out day trip, you’re (hopefully!) creating a treasured memory. But because you’ve allocated and planned for it, in your holiday budget (both time, money and energy-wise), the theory is you won’t be overwhelmed by it. 

Where you go will be a really specific, personal choice – what lights up one family won’t do it for another! 

Maybe for your family, it’s a show you’ve been desperate to see – Frozen’s last West End run, for example, or Wicked in all its sparkling green glory. I made great use last year of Disney’s Magical Mondays for on-the-week prime seats, for £29.50 each. 

For other families with bigger kids, it might be a day learning to surf or body board with expert coaching, while on holiday. Or maybe it’s a surprise weekend camping with another family, on the coast or in a back garden, with a games night thrown in. 

For us, it was the four year-old’s birthday treat – a family trip to Legoland, using a few savvy deals scored from Cadburys purchases the week of booking. Their Family Fun Day deals are back for summer 2024, scoring big savings at attractions like Thorpe Park, Alton Towers Resort, Sea Life, Chessington World of Adventures and – our pick – Legoland. 

Pick up a Cadburys product with the Family Fun Day clearly marked – check out the included products (I went for a pack of Freddos) – and follow the instructions to save up to 50% off online priced tickets. 

7. Don’t entertain them

Yes, give them the set up. Give them the paints and the newspaper on the table, and a few ideas and starting points. Give them the heads up that you’ve planned a day out tomorrow, and today is (largely) up to them. 

Give them the assurance you’re there if they need you (I personally had a smashed pen pot and glass situation yesterday – and yes, my kids needed me and yes, I had to walk away when everything was safe again for 10 minutes of don’t talk to me time). 

But, by and large, there’s a lot to be said for the summer like mine theory – left to our own devices (without leaning on a device, although there’s a place for those, too) the summers of the 90s – and, just about, 80s – that I remember were filled with, well, my own play and creativity. 

Yes, we went on holiday – we were really lucky – but it was four weeks solid aside from that, of figuring it out myself. 

Give them the framework, and the base. A few moments of magic, and lots of ideas. Then let them at it. And best of all? If they’re bored, they’re developing. Being bored is officially good for kids, so banish the guilt, brandish the sun screen and let them crack on. Your cold coffee won’t wait. 

Up next: Our 7 fave kids roll on sunscreens this summer (& yes, adults can use them too)