When they just won’t stay latched on (but will cry – a lot) – SOS guide
Girls, I’ve been there. Especially with my youngest, and as a seasoned breastfeeding mama.
It is unbelievably frustrating, and when you’re tired enough already – simply not the one. In the end, we got there. And for us it was an issue of my baby establishing our milk supply and his feeding technique, which helped with the crying (especially in the evening) and de-latching – he was simply hangry, it seems. Lol.
This situation is super-common in the early newborn days, and often takes parents by surprise at around week 2-3. Your baby has ‘woken up’ after sleeping off their big entrance to the world (that’s a lot to process, and don’t we know it). And, they’re now pretty ravenous. Hello, cluster-feeding.
If baby is latching on, then off and crying – it’s usually down to a few potential factors and tweakables. Here’s the signposting I wish I’d had, and the resources I relied on.
Quick note – I’m an experienced breastfeeding mum, but not a professional, or a specialist. If you’re worried about your baby – from latch to anything else – speak to your midwife, or an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). I personally recommend All About Breastfeeding podcast host and IBCLC Lori Jill Isenstadt, who via brilliant content and virtual communication provided so much support during my breastfeeding era.
Baby won’t latch? Start here
The truth is, it’s often more about positioning and patience than anything else. Babies are born with natural reflexes that help them feed, but sometimes they need extra support to get started.
Try these steps for how to get baby to latch properly:
- Skin-to-skin contact – undress your baby down to their nappy, place them on your bare chest, and let them nuzzle. This often stimulates rooting and feeding reflexes. Or, go nappy-free and try feeding in the bath together. I did this a lot with my first baby and it really helped in those early days – I got to soak and she got a super-chilled, warm and skin-to-skin feed. Just tell your partner first so they can check in on you both, and don’t try this if you’re really tired.
- Position yourself comfortably – whether cradle hold, rugby hold, or laid-back breastfeeding, make sure your arms, back, and shoulders are supported. An uncomfortable parent can make a restless baby even fussier.
- Bring baby to breast, not breast to baby – tuck your baby close, with their nose level to your nipple.
- Wait for a wide-open mouth – so, so crucial from my experience! Gently brush your nipple against your baby’s top lip, and wait for a big yawn-like opening.
- Aim for a deep latch – your baby’s chin should touch your breast first, and more of the areola should be covered by their lower lip than their upper.
For visual guides, La Leche League has excellent positioning tips: Positioning and Attachment.
A proper latch is key for comfortable, effective breastfeeding. Signs that your baby is latched well include:
- Their chin and nose are close to your breast.
- You see more of your areola above the top lip than below.
- Baby’s cheeks look full and rounded, not dimpled.
- You hear swallowing sounds after the first few sucks.
- Feeding is comfortable, not painful.
If you’re experiencing cracked or sore nipples, or if your baby is fussy and pulling away, it may mean the latch isn’t quite right. De-latch gently (never pull your baby off – your nipples won’t thank you), and give it another go.
Still not happening? Take a breather, hydrate, pass your baby to your partner and give your midwife and connect with an IBCLC or trusted breastfeeding support.
I can’t recommend highly enough this UK telephone directory for La Leche League UK support, this guide to USA support groups and this one for International support – you’ll often find contact details for group leaders alongside. My group leader replied to me in the middle of the night – trust me, the support is there (even if the clear signposting isn’t).
Reading around? Check our guide on common breastfeeding problems and solutions for more support.
Why does my newborn cry when feeding?
Crying at the breast can be stressful. My son really went for it in the first week after birth, and it pretty much broke us, after an easier ride with our first baby’s latch. A few possible reasons include:
- Frustration with milk flow – some babies get upset if milk comes too fast or too slow (mine was definitely a little slow at first – lots of trying and (sorry!) cluster feeding sorted us out).
- Gas or wind – trapped air can make babies uncomfortable. Try burping mid-feed.
- Overstimulation – too much noise, light, or activity may distract them.
- Tiredness – babies often cue for food when they’re tired, but then struggle to feed effectively.
Sometimes, a calm environment and a deep breath for you are all it takes to reset. Other times, switching sides, burping, or pausing for a cuddle can help. Or, hitting up the resources we’ve listed above. La Leche League really are fantastic for troubleshooting, and helping you sort out help, fast.
Why is my baby not latching all of a sudden?
If your newborn was feeding well but suddenly won’t latch, there may be a few reasons:
- Growth spurts and cluster feeding – babies sometimes fuss and pull off the breast when they’re hungry more often, especially around 2-3 weeks and 6 weeks. This was me and my approach here was to simply go with it.
Pull in all the support and let your baby keep trying – as tough as it is, it’s often their way of establishing milk supply and it will not last forever, I promise. I liked side-lying breastfeeding for this (so I could rest) all of the hydration and getting my partner to walk our baby in the carrier round the block for an hour between feeds, so I could recharge and release. Plus, hitting up every breastfeeding clinic and support group going, to glean knowledge and help. And all of a sudden, we were through it. - Engorgement – if your breasts are very full, your baby may struggle to get a deep latch.
- Changes in routine – a long nap, bottle introduction, or a hospital procedure can temporarily unsettle feeding patterns.
- Discomfort – reflux, wind, tongue-tie, or an ear infection can all make latching painful for your baby.
Baby won’t stay latched on one side
It’s not unusual for a baby to prefer one breast over the other. My left side is definitely the winner here, and didn’t my babies know it. This could be due to:
- A more forceful let-down on one side.
- Your baby’s position in the womb, leading to a natural preference.
- A blocked duct or engorgement making one breast harder to latch onto.
It never really bothered me, but you can encourage feeding on the less-favoured side by:
- Starting a feed on the preferred breast, then switching halfway.
- Using the football hold to change the angle.
- Pumping on the less-favoured side to maintain supply and soften the breast.
If pain, swelling, or lumps are present, speak to a healthcare professional to rule out blocked ducts or mastitis.
How to latch baby with big areola
Many parents worry that large areolas will make latching harder. In reality, babies don’t need to take the entire areola into their mouth – just enough breast tissue to get a deep, effective latch.
Tips if you have larger areolas:
- Focus on the lower portion – your baby’s chin should be buried into your breast, with more of the areola below their mouth.
- Support your breast – use the “C hold” (thumb above, fingers below) to help guide your nipple into position.
- Don’t stress about visibility – every parent’s anatomy is different, and a good latch looks different for everyone.
Feeds going better? Here’s how to improve baby’s latch
Once you’ve got a few good, effective (and less shouty) feeds in, play around with these tips. One or two might work for you and your baby – but remember, it’s all a super-specific process.
- Try different positions – some babies latch better in laid-back or side-lying positions. I absolutely loved side-lying feeds with my babies, but plenty of my friends didn’t.
- Breast compressions – gently squeezing your breast during feeding can help the flow and keep your baby interested.
- Express a little milk first – softening the areola makes it easier for baby to latch.
- Use nipple shields carefully – they can be a useful tool short-term, but most lactation consultants suggest working toward latching without them.
Professional lactation support can make all the difference. My personal go-to All About Breastfeeding offers virtual and in-person support to help families overcome latch challenges.
Taking care of yourself
When you’re exhausted, sore, or worried about feeding, the emotional load can feel heavy. Remember that postnatal recovery isn’t just physical – it’s emotional, too.
Read more about postnatal depletion for support on how to nourish yourself during this time, along with my own breastfeeding journey and the toolkit I swear by, from nutrition to resources.
You may also enjoy TRB founder Eloise’s life with newborn twins, which shares practical tips and reassurance that no feeding journey is without its hurdles.
And if you’d like to learn more from a nutrition perspective, the Naturally Nourished Podcast has a great episode on breastfeeding updates and maternal health.
When to ask for extra support
To be honest, I’d say always. We always need extra support postpartum, because we were never meant to be doing this alone.
But if in doubt, reach out for professional support if:
- Your baby has fewer than 6 wet nappies a day after day 5
- Weight gain is slow or dropping.
- Feeding is consistently painful.
- Your nipples are cracked, bleeding, or blistered.
- Your baby seems constantly unsettled at the breast.
You are not failing if you ask for help. Lactation consultants, midwives, and breastfeeding peer supporters can provide hands-on techniques and reassurance.
Quick-fire FAQs: baby won’t stay latched
Need to scan and go? Here’s your guide.
How to get baby to latch?
Start with skin-to-skin, support your breast in a C-hold, and wait until baby’s mouth is wide before guiding them onto the breast (not breast to baby), nose to nipple. A deep latch means chin-to-breast and lips ‘flanged’ out.
Look for rounded cheeks, audible swallowing, and comfort (no pain for you). If it hurts, gently break the latch and try again.
How to get baby to latch properly?
Look for rounded cheeks, audible swallowing, and comfort (no pain for you). If it hurts, gently break the latch and try again.
Why is my baby not latching all of a sudden?
Possible reasons include engorgement, growth spurts, illness, or changes in routine. Try skin-to-skin, expressing a little milk before feeds, and ask for support if it continues.
Leveling up – how to improve baby’s latch?
Experiment with positions, soften the areola before feeding, and ensure a calm environment. Professional help from a lactation consultant can be transformative.
How to latch baby with big areola?
Remember, your baby doesn’t need to take the entire areola. Focus on a deep latch with more areola below the mouth than above, and use supportive holds to guide your nipple in.
Latch takeaways
If your newborn baby won’t stay latched on and cries, know that you’re not doing anything wrong. Breastfeeding takes time, practice, and often – pro support.
Be gentle with yourself, keep experimenting with positions and holds, and remember that every baby is unique. Mine, for example, were both totally different feeders! Whether your baby struggles on one side, needs a little help to latch with big and beautiful areolas, or has periods of fussiness, these challenges are common and solvable.
With patience, self-care, and the right resources, you and your baby can find your rhythm together.
And if in doubt, pass the baby, take a deep breath and hydrate. I promise, it helps.
Quick links & resources
