How to relax during IVF: Yoga, meditation and dealing with panic attacks

This week we were delighted to catch up with the wonderful Harriet Mac-Masters-Green, actor and writer.

Harriet has experienced panic attacks for many years and generously shared invaluable tips and tools for how to relax during IVF or while trying naturally, reminding us that “your breath is your best friend.”

Whether you practise fertility meditation, use acupuncture for fertility, do yoga, or struggle with sleep or anxiety (particularly during fertility treatment), her insights are well worth reading.

Over to Harriet.

Dealing with anxiety and uncertainty

If you’ve ever experienced anxiety – or know someone who has – you’ll likely have some understanding of how complex and challenging it can be. Facing difficulties while trying to conceive can leave you feeling not only heartbroken, but deeply anxious as well.

So what are the signs? They can vary widely. Anxiety doesn’t always announce itself loudly or obviously. Often, it is quiet, internalised and intensely distressing behind the scenes.

Anxiety is a particularly tricky condition because many of us feel reluctant to talk about it, acknowledge it, or seek support.

It can help to remember that your body is generally designed to support you. It seeks to maintain balance, stability and homeostasis, keeping things as steady as possible. At the same time, life inevitably brings unexpected challenges, and change is the only certainty we can rely on.

According to health.org.uk, women are almost twice as likely to be diagnosed with anxiety disorders as men. And, it’s estimated that one in six people experienced a common mental health problem in the past week alone. When you consider those who do not seek help, the true number is likely to be much higher.

The Covid-19 pandemic and the ongoing cost of living crisis have contributed to a significant rise in mood disorders, while positive outlooks have become harder to sustain. If we weren’t already feeling stressed before, many of us are now experiencing symptoms of anxiety and uncertainty in our daily lives.

How does anxiety manifest in our bodies?

Anxiety can show up physically in a number of ways, including:

• A thumping or irregular heartbeat
• A feeling of restlessness
• A sensation of extreme heat rushing through the body

For me, it was a combination of symptoms that completely disrupted the way I had previously known how to live.

At the time, I was working night and day under intense pressure, without giving myself the nourishment my mind and body so desperately needed. I also found myself trapped in a relationship I didn’t know how to leave.

Then, without warning, my body began to shut down. From one day to the next, I was unable to walk, sleep or eat without experiencing severe chest pain. I couldn’t leave my flat because I felt as though my body was folding in on itself.

The nights were the hardest. As soon as I switched off the lights, my heart would start racing and the panic attacks would return. I could hear a ringing pulse in my ears, my lungs felt solid and I couldn’t breathe. Instinctively, I would lie on the cold floor close to the ground, which felt strangely comforting.

I remember frantically trying to picture calm, happy scenes in my mind – the beach, the sea, familiar faces, slow breathing – anything that might pull me away from the fear and darkness I was experiencing.

Recovery from that period took time. And like many disorders, it never truly disappears. You simply learn how to manage it better and regain a sense of control.

Managing anxiety

Yoga and meditation had been part of my life for many years, even before the panic attacks. But it wasn’t until some time later that I began to emerge from that dark period.

I realised I needed to deepen my understanding of the body, the mind and the breath. Every individual I now work with carries their own unique story, shaped by loss, grief, fear, pain and feelings of inadequacy.

We’re all thinking and feeling beings. And at different stages in our lives, we experience complex emotions that need to be unearthed, explored and expressed. We need connection, both with ourselves and with others.

This is where yoga and meditation can gently guide us back to the calm space that exists within our bodies. I like to imagine it as a still lake, sunlight glistening across the surface. In that moment, you can step away from the fog of your thoughts and become fully present with your body and your breath.

Breathing techniques

The turmoil in our minds can only begin to settle when we have tools – anchors – to guide our attention away from the endless wheel of worry.

The breath is an excellent place to focus. With practice, we can learn to balance it more easily whenever we need to.

When we bring balance to the breath, we help bring balance to the body. Yoga allows us to explore conscious movement and shapes, moving in harmony with our mind, body and breath.

When intrusive thoughts return, we simply return to the breath, letting the thoughts pass by. I like to imagine standing on a bridge, watching the thoughts drift along like water flowing beneath. Our minds are naturally creative and never stop thinking, but there is release to be found in yoga. And all it takes is showing up – that’s the beauty of it, for me.

Being present in your body and with your breath is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. Where your intention goes, energy flows.

We don’t have all the answers, but we can learn to help ourselves. And importantly, we must never hesitate to reach out for support from others when we need it.

Read this next: Why magnesium for stress and sleep (and managing fertility anxiety) can be a game changer