Fertility treatment for same sex couples in London – your guide to getting started

If you’re researching fertility treatment for same sex couples in London, you’re likely to have plenty of questions. 

And that’s more than okay. Whether you’re looking for fertility treatment for lesbian couples or gay couples in the UK, or just trying to understand the legal side of surrogacy, there can be more than a few extra barriers to care if you’re in a same-sex partnership.

The good news, though, is that there are now more family-building options than ever before. The key is finding a clinic that takes the time to understand your goals, priorities and what matters most to you, and explain your options clearly.

Your guide to getting started in the capital 

Wondering where to begin? Don’t worry about knowing exactly which treatment you need. Your first appointment is there to map out your options.

For the at-a-glance guide, we spoke to Miss Shirin Khanjani, Co-Founder and Medical Director at Fitzrovia Fertility, our go-to for consultant-led, highly personalised and intentionally supportive fertility care in London.

Their team takes time to understand the medical history of everyone involved, emotional needs, donor preferences and long-term plans before recommending any treatment pathway. 

And if you more forward with treatment, you’ll also be able to access counselling, fertility coaching, nutritional support and acupuncture as part of your end-to-end holistic support journey. 

What testing options are available for same-sex couples?

Starting strong – fertility treatment should always be tailored to your medical history, the family you’re hoping to build and personal preferences.

“At Fitzrovia Fertility, we support same-sex couples with a full range of fertility testing and treatment options, always tailored to the couple’s medical history, family building goals and preferences,” she explains.

For female same-sex couples, this may include:

• Ovarian reserve testing
• Tubal assessment
• Donor sperm treatment
• Intrauterine insemination (IUI)
• In vitro fertilisation (IVF)
• Reciprocal IVF (shared motherhood)

For male same-sex couples, treatment generally involves:

• Donor eggs
• Embryo creation
• Surrogacy planning

“What matters most is that couples are given clear, compassionate and clinically honest advice from the very beginning,” says Dr. Khanjani. “Fertility treatment for same-sex couples should never feel like a standard pathway with different labels attached. It should be properly personalised.”

We’ve covered how Fitzrovia Fertility’s expert consultants build fully personalised treatment plans for patients in more detail – read up here for the latest.

Your first step: Ask your clinic which fertility tests they recommend before discussing treatment options.

Fertility treatment for lesbian couples – the three main routes

When going after  fertility treatment for lesbian couples, you might be comparing donor sperm IUI, IVF and reciprocal IVF. Each option has different advantages depending on your fertility health, family-building plans and how you’d each like to be involved.

Here’s a quick overview:

IUI with donor sperm

IUI is often the simplest place to begin if the partner planning to carry the pregnancy is ovulating regularly, has open fallopian tubes and has no significant fertility concerns.

During treatment, donor sperm is placed directly into the uterus around the time of ovulation.

Because it is less invasive than IVF, IUI is often considered as a first-line treatment when there are no underlying fertility issues.

IVF with donor sperm

IVF may be recommended if there are factors that could reduce the chances of success with IUI, including:

• Low ovarian reserve
• Blocked fallopian tubes
• Endometriosis
• Older age
• Previous unsuccessful IUI cycles

IVF also allows embryos to be created and stored for future treatment, if that aligns with your family-building plans.

Reciprocal IVF (shared motherhood)

Reciprocal IVF allows both partners to take an active role in treatment.

“For many couples, this can be a very meaningful shared route to parenthood,” says Dr. Khanjani.

One partner undergoes ovarian stimulation and provides the eggs, which are fertilised using donor sperm. The resulting embryo is then transferred to the other partner, who carries the pregnancy.

Fertility treatment options for gay male couples

For gay male couples, family building usually involves donor eggs, embryo creation and surrogacy.

Your journey will usually involve four key decisions:

• Choosing an egg donor
• Fertilising the donated eggs with sperm from one or both partners
• Creating embryos in the laboratory
• Transferring an embryo to a surrogate

“Some couples choose to create embryos using sperm from both partners, where clinically and practically appropriate, so that each has the opportunity for a genetic connection,” explains Dr. Khanjani.

This pathway involves careful medical planning alongside specialist legal and emotional support.

“At Fitzrovia Fertility, we can support the fertility and embryo creation side of the journey, while also ensuring couples understand the importance of specialist surrogacy and legal advice.”

What does UK law say about surrogacy?

If you’re considering surrogacy, it’s important to understand how UK law works before treatment begins.

“The most important point is that surrogacy is legal in the UK, but it is highly regulated and legally distinct from fertility treatment itself,” says Dr. Khanjani.

Current UK law states that:

• The person who gives birth is the child’s legal mother at birth, regardless of genetic connection.
• Intended parents apply for a parental order after the birth to become the child’s legal parents.
• For male same-sex couples, at least one intended parent will usually need a genetic link to the child when applying for a parental order.
• Commercial surrogacy is not permitted in the UK.
• Advertising for a surrogate is restricted.

“This is why we always advise couples to take early specialist legal advice alongside fertility treatment planning,” she says.

Your first step: Don’t feel you need to understand every legal detail before speaking to a clinic. A good fertility team will explain where specialist advice begins, and treatment ends.

Choosing a sperm, egg or embryo donor

Choosing a donor is one of the biggest decisions you’ll make during treatment. This said, it’s not something you have to rush. Most people spend time thinking about what matters most to them, and your clinic should guide you through every stage.

“In the UK, donor treatment through licensed clinics is regulated by the HFEA,” says Dr. Khanjani.

Donors are screened for:

• Medical history
• Genetic conditions
• Infectious diseases

There are also regulations covering consent, information sharing and the number of families that can be created from one donor, so bookmark these resources for later.

Patients can choose between clinic-recruited donors, donor banks or, in some situations, a known donor. Each option comes with different practical, emotional and legal considerations.

Dr. Khanjani advises against informal donation arrangements.

“I would strongly caution against informal or unregulated sperm donation. It may appear simpler, but it can create significant medical, legal and safeguarding risks. Using a licensed clinic offers protection for the patient, the donor and, most importantly, the future child.”

At Fitzrovia Fertility, you’ll be guided through the different steps of donor selection, counselling requirements, medical screening and treatment planning so your decisions feel manageable, and well informed.

When might same sex couples need to think about fertility preservation?

Fertility preservation can be helpful if you’re planning to delay treatment or before medical treatments that could affect fertility, including chemotherapy, radiotherapy, gender-affirming treatment or surgery.

Depending on your circumstances, this may include egg freezing, sperm freezing or embryo freezing.

“For female same-sex couples, embryo freezing with donor sperm may be considered if they know they want children together in the future,” says Dr. Khanjani. “For male same-sex couples, sperm freezing may be useful before medical treatment or if embryo creation is being planned later.”

Whether it’s right for you will depend on your age, ovarian reserve or sperm parameters, medical history and future plans.

Arm yourself with these questions, for your first appointment

At Fitzrovia Fertility, same-sex couples tend to ask:

• Where do we start?
• Do we need IVF?
• How do we choose a donor?
• Who will be the legal parent?
• Can we both be involved?
• Will we feel welcome and supported?

Questions about costs, success rates, waiting times and legal paperwork are also common. You might like to take these questions with you.

Your first step: Pay close attention to how you feel after you come away from these initial touch points.

“My view is that no patient should feel they need to justify their family,” says Dr. Khanjani. “The role of the clinic is to provide clarity, remove unnecessary barriers and create a space where people feel respected, informed and supported.”

Starting out with fertility treatment for same sex couples in London

If you and your partner are thinking about building your family, booking a specialist consultation is the best first step.

“I would encourage anyone considering treatment not to wait until everything feels fully worked out,” says Dr. Khanjani. “The first consultation is there to help you understand the pathway, ask questions and make a plan that feels medically sound and emotionally right for you.”

Ready to start fertility treatment for same sex couples in London? Connect with Fitzrovia Fertility here to get the ball rolling.

They’re genuinely proud to support same-sex couples on their fertility journeys, providing inclusive and personalised care tailored to your unique needs, and are committed to creating a welcoming environment where you feel empowered and informed in making the best decisions for you (and your family).

Want to hear more from their expert team? Read this one next: Thinking about booking your first couples fertility test? Follow this London consultant’s step-by-step