Fertility
Navigating Father’s Day when TTC: 3 things couples can do
Eloise Edington | 16 Jun 2022
Father’s Day can be a triggering date for so many, especially for couples who are still trying to conceive (TTC) or experiencing infertility.
Reminders can pop up all over the place, from shop displays to special Spotify playlists, to branded emails. Even the ‘opt out of our emails this Father’s Day’ messaging in our inbox can be difficult to handle.
Often, it’s not ‘opting out’ that makes days like this easier. It’s doing something positive, productive, and nourishing instead, to balance things out.
But as a partner, how should you connect and show your support around Father’s Day? Read on for some helpful ideas.
The power of connection when navigating Father’s Day
Working together, as a couple, to navigate Father’s Day can be so supportive. Amongst all the stress of weekday life, fertility discussions, appointments and managing life as normal, it can be hard to find time just for each other. So, if you’re going through a fertility struggle, as hard as the day might be, it can also be an opportunity to focus on both of you and the bond you share.
Grand gestures and pricey, distracting gifts have their moments, but the first thing you can do for each other as partners is to ask each other about how you’re feeling, listen to each other’s needs, and remind each other that you’re already doing an amazing job.
When you’re on the same page and ready to start planning, try one of these three simple things to do together, to connect and celebrate your relationship this year.
Plan your dream holiday
Two weeks in the sun or a year travelling Southeast Asia – whatever your dreams look like, take a day (preferably on a blanket in the garden, or a quiet spot in the park), and start with your bucket list. It’ll be fascinating to pull that shared list together, narrow it down and start visualising.
Beyond just the destination, think too about what kind of adventure you’re looking for. Have you had a hard time, and need a rest (or maybe this is your big opportunity to switch off, before taking the next steps in your fertility journey)? If so, peaceful, discreet accommodation options might be a top priority.
On the other hand, you might want to take your minds off things with a high octane itinerary or island hopping with just a backpack. You may even want to travel but keep working remotely, if your employer is up for Zoom-based connection. Many are, or may offer a sabbatical.
The point is, talk, dream and create an action plan together. It’s incredibly exciting, and a million miles from a hot Father’s Day at the pub. Book it this Sunday and celebrate the date your way.
Invite trusted friends around last minute
Yes, this is about you as a couple. But that doesn’t have to mean hiding away. Make up some delicious cocktails, get blankets down on the lawn, throw in a cheese board or a BBQ and invite a small circle of friends who you trust not to trigger.
Whether they’re friends from the fertility world, people who choose not to have kids, or anyone else you can rely on to ‘get it’, there’s nothing like planning and hosting together to create smiles and memories.
Sometimes, the more impromptu the party, the more relaxed it is. So even if you send the invite on the day, you might find other people are unsure how to approach Father’s Day too, and will jump at the chance of some community and togetherness.
And as the night draws in, why not go around the circle and say one thing you’re really excited for this year? Whether it’s an IVF cycle, a big holiday or setting up a new business, this is the day to celebrate it.
Throw yourselves into a DIY day
Dust off your Pinterest board, set aside some old clothes and buy-in what you need, this weekend is about investing in your safe space.
From clearing out, redecorating and styling the room you’ve claimed as an office, to attacking the garden and creating your Spanish terrace vision, 48 hours spent bringing it together flies by. In fact, hold next weekend too, because you’ll still have stuff to do.
Aside from creating a beautiful space, DIY with your partner gives you a shared goal, can boost endorphins, get you chatting while you work, ensures time away from screens, plus so much more. Agree to disagree beforehand, take breathers, get a banging playlist going and buy in some proper treats to maintain energy levels.
