Male infertility stories – meet the UK activists speaking out

The Ribbon Box founder, Eloise, knows first-hand just how little support exists for men facing infertility.

Six months into their journey to conceive, her husband was diagnosed with Klinefelter syndrome. Alongside the diagnosis came the devastating news that he had no sperm (azoospermia).

Like so many men in his position, he felt isolated, overwhelmed and burdened by guilt, unable to fulfil the one dream he had always imagined: becoming a father.

In this article, we speak to male infertility advocates and campaigners to explore the emotional impact of infertility on men, why support is still so limited, and what needs to change.

Male infertility stories, shared

“I’d look on the internet for support, and there was nothing. Only in the last six months have I actually seen a difference.” Kevin Button, who was diagnosed with infertility eight years ago, told TRB.

Before people like Kevin took on the crucial role of publicly sharing their infertility stories through platforms such as The Man Cave, conversations around male infertility were often met with an eerie silence. Thankfully, that is beginning to change, with more men than ever speaking openly about their experiences.

A recent BBC documentary, Me, My Brother and Our Balls, follows 27-year-old Love Island star Chris Hughes and his 28-year-old brother, Ben, as they navigate the realities of male fertility. The programme offers a powerful insight into the heartbreak, uncertainty and emotional toll that infertility can have on men.

The documentary’s warm reception and the conversations it has sparked have helped shine a light on a long-overlooked issue. It has highlighted not only the lack of awareness surrounding male infertility, but also the urgent need for better support, greater understanding and more open conversations.

Infertility doesn’t discriminate, so why do we?

Male factor plays a significant role in many fertility journeys. In an interview with TRB, top Spanish clinic Cliníca Tambre’s Dr. Marta Zermiani explained that, “male factor is estimated to be present in about 50% of infertility cases.”

So why, despite this, are men still so often left out of conversations around infertility – and why is support still so limited?

The Hughes Brothers

Me, My Brother and Our Balls follows Chris and Ben Hughes as they bare all, both literally and metaphorically. Throughout the documentary, viewers watch the brothers undergo intimate examinations, wait anxiously for life-changing test results, and witness Ben and his partner begin to navigate an uncertain future following a heartbreaking diagnosis.

Chris first discovered he had a varicocele – a cluster of enlarged veins in the scrotum – when he was 14. Unaware of the potential impact it could have on his fertility, however, he didn’t attend follow-up appointments for several years.

During filming, Chris learns that varicoceles are linked to around 40% of male infertility cases. Crucially, they are often treatable when identified early. Concerned about his own fertility, he undergoes a semen analysis, which reveals that his sperm count has not been affected by the condition.

Meanwhile, Ben, who previously underwent treatment for testicular cancer and had one of his testicles removed, faces his own fertility assessment. During the documentary, viewers witness the devastating moment he receives news that dramatically changes how he and his partner imagine their future family.

Throughout this emotional journey, Chris and Ben champion two simple but powerful messages: get checked and talk about male fertility. By encouraging men to seek help early and have honest conversations, they hope to improve awareness, identify fertility problems sooner and reduce the stigma that continues to surround male infertility.

Viewers took to twitter

Moments after the programme aired, viewers took to Twitter to praise and thank these brave brothers, all the while encouraging their followers to watch their stories.

Viewers’ enthusiastic responses to the public figures’ personal acknowledgement of this topic is evidence of just how limited the conversation around male infertility is.

Twitter user Michael Hardy shared his thoughts on the “important programme.” Writing, “Infertility and men’s health, is something that should be talked about a lot more. #MeMyBrotherAndOurBalls”.

Such an important programme. Infertility and men’s health, is something that should be talked about a lot more. #MeMyBrotherAndOurBalls

— Michael Hardy (@MichaelKHardy) October 5, 2020

Jen_lo, Tweeted: “I always thought men had it really easy but actually their issues just aren’t discussed as much… #MeMyBrotherandOurBalls”.

I always thought men had it really easy but actually their issues just aren’t discussed as much… #MeMyBrotherandOurBalls

— jen_lo (@jlosagi) October 5, 2020

Meanwhile Rich Burrows shared his personal story after watching the programme. “Shout out to @chrishughes_22 & his bro for doing this, having suffered with Sperm issues myself, it’s something everyone should be aware of, educated on & be able to speak about.  #MeMyBrotherandOurBalls”.

Shout out to @chrishughes_22 & his bro for doing this, having suffered with Sperm issues myself, it’s something everyone should be aware of, educated on & be able to speak about. #MeMyBrotherandOurBalls

— Rich Borrows (@RichBorrows) October 5, 2020

Let’s talk about male infertility

Through his platform, The Man Cave, Kevin aims to destigmatise male infertility through conversation, “It is vital we talk about male infertility as there are a lot of men suffering,” he told us.

“Acceptance is key, and the sooner a guy can accept his situation the better he will feel, not just for himself, but also in his relationship with his partner.”

Toby echoes Kevin’s method of using conversation as the key to destigmatising male infertility. “This documentary is incredible; the work that Chris and Ben have done to bring this to the forefront of people’s minds is fantastic.”

Toby campaigns to raise awareness for male infertility and runs a support network for men, providing them with the space to talk through their feelings, and listen to other men’s experiences.

“Once I started speaking to more people about it, I felt much more comfortable with my own feelings,” Toby told us, when talking about his own fertility struggles. “I was incredibly surprised with the support I received from friends and family.

“But also, chatting among other guys in my situation and offering them support, helps validate their feelings,” Toby continued. “It is completely okay to feel the way we do, and once you speak to others on a similar path, you’ll find it is surprising how many of your emotions are the same across the board.”

It took Toby the best part of four years, and two losses, to seek support. But when he did, it was a total game-changer.

“I was so pleased I had counselling; I feel everyone should go at least once,” Toby said. “It was the first time I had actually felt like I was being listened to rather than having my feelings questioned.”

Educating early

During the Hughes brothers’ documentary, viewers gain insight into a conversation with a group of male friends, who are discussing their fertility knowledge… which turns out to be very limited. The scene illuminates how little the average man knows about his own fertility, and highlights issues regarding leaving this important topic out of the education system.

“Education around fertility is so important because I was one of those people who just assumed I’d be able to have a child,” Toby commented. “When I was faced with the possibility that I might not ever be a dad I was petrified.”

With a young following, the Love Island star and his brother hoped to offer a preliminary fertility education to young men, and encourage them to consider checking their fertility status now, rather than waiting until it might be too late.

“I think I’m in a better position than most of my friends who’ve never checked their fertility,” Ben tells viewers, when attempting to remain positive during his diagnosis. “I think myself quite lucky that I’m in that position where I’ve already started having mine looked at and something’s being done about it.”