Sperm donation stories – what motivates men to become sperm donors?

If you’re trying to conceive (TTC) with male factor infertility in the mix and are considering whether to use a sperm donor for treatment, or perhaps you have already chosen a sperm donor to help build your family, it’s likely you’ll have questions. A lot of questions.

When TRB Founder Eloise was going through it, she had so many – and she still often thinks about her family’s sperm donor and what the connection might be with him and her children in years to come.

3 sperm donation stories

Like Eloise, no matter where you are in the process, you might be curious to know:

• What are the main sperm donor motivations?
• Why do men become sperm donors?
• What are their thoughts when helping a woman or a couple to have a baby?

To answer these questions, we turned to trusted sperm and egg bank, Cryos International who interviewed three of their donors to give us more insight.

Read on to hear their stories.

Editor’s note – The men pictured are not sperm donors, and don’t bear any resemblance to the donors interviewed.

Why did you become a sperm donor?

Jacob is a 26-year-old medical student from Denmark. When he decided to become a donor at Cryos, he wanted to help make the dreams of singles and couples come true:

“I chose to become a sperm donor because I like the idea that I can help some people to achieve their dream. And I believe it’s a brilliant and beautiful thought, to think that I can provide the basis for a new life.” 

25-year-old Henrik had some of the same thoughts when becoming a donor at Cryos:

“I’m a donor because there are many people who can’t have children. I feel privileged that I’m healthy and well enough to help them. It’s a big deal for me, and I know it means a lot to those people that I can help.”

Thomas is a father with four children. His main reason for donating is to help other people have the same experience he has had.

“I have children and have experienced the great joy you get from having children in your life. I thought that it was a small thing for me to do if I could help people who couldn’t have children to have the same experiences. That was my motivation.”

For 42-year-old Thomas however, the actual idea to become a sperm donor happened after a conversation he had with his grandfather.

“It came about originally because of a long chat I had with my grandfather about being a decent person. I didn’t think I was a bad person, but I started to speculate that I could do more. I realised this was one of the things where I could actually make a difference. I could help childless couples, so they could experience having children.”

Further to this, student Jacob also mentions that receiving a small compensation for his donations is just a bonus:

“Naturally, there’s a financial aspect to it and, as a student, it’s nice to get a little extra with my student grant allowance.” (The compensation the donors receive is not a payment, but for time, effort and transportation.)

Have you considered the children you’re helping to create?

All three donors have thoughts about the children who will be born thanks to their help. Jacob elaborates:

“I can of course understand some of the concerns you can have when bringing children into the world. But, the way I see it, children are part of the families and environments that they grow up in.

We have shown that we can certainly foster children and give them a really good life, even though they are not genetically related to their parents, and from that perspective it’s easy to be a donor.” 

Are there any common misconceptions about sperm donation that you’ve encountered?

Henrik recognises that some people may have prejudices towards men who are sperm donors, but he says:

“I’ve thought a lot about the fact that many people will be prejudiced against me, thinking I’m going to have a lot of kids running around the city in a couple of years. But, it’s just not like that. I think more about the fact that there are children who come into the world to parents who get the child they wanted above everything else.” 

Most people who are going to use a sperm donor to help them conceive will have struggled to get the child of their dreams. Thomas says: “I think that must be the best starting point.”

Whilst Thomas may have had the four children he wished for, Henrik thinks about having children of his own sometime in the future:

“I’ve thought about having kids in a few years. So, I understand without a doubt the feeling people have of wanting to have children. Bringing a child into the world must be an amazing thing, especially for those who have been trying to conceive but couldn’t without fertility help from a sperm donor. That must be the best feeling there is.” 

Sperm donor motivations, unpacked

A big thanks to Cryos for sharing the thoughts and feelings of some of their donors.

Want to learn more? Hop over to their website. It includes an updated sperm donor search which makes it easy for you to view the donors’ childhood photos, handwritten messages, Q&A’s, voice recordings and much more.

Collaboratively, Cryos International and TRB hope that this will make the selection of your donor a little easier.