How to Enjoy Seasonal Festivities When Struggling to Conceive

If you want to have an exclusive celebration, let your wider family know that this is nothing personal and that it is simply that it is just a difficult time of year for you, which you would prefer to spend alone.

If you are spending time with extended family, perhaps plan to have a designated buffer. This would be a friend or relative who has taken on the responsibility of deflecting difficult conversations away from you, should the situation call for it. You can let them know what questions and topics you would like to avoid beforehand, so that they can swoop in and steer the conversation to light-hearted topics.

Alternatively, you could attend the gathering with a prepared set of topics in mind to avoid any awkward silences which people may feel the need to fill with intrusive questions. These topics may include achievements of yours such as a promotion or a new job; perhaps you are moving to a new location soon and would like to discuss this, or maybe you have a trip coming up; perhaps are reading a really interesting book you would like to talk about. Not only will this help to keep the conversation light, but it may also remind you of your worth beyond fertility which can help make you feel a little more festive.

If you’re feeling brave, you could address the situation head on. If you don’t find the topic too difficult or triggering, you could try to answer their questions openly if this is what you feel like doing. It might even help to shed some light on your current situation and may remind those nosey few that they shouldn’t ask invasive questions.

If you are going through this journey with a partner, this might just be the perfect opportunity to get back in tune with them. TTC can put a strain on relationships and you may be looking to regain a level of intimacy and connection that you may have felt was lacking.

During the holidays, most fertility clinics are closed which can put a temporary end to treatment. This can be devastating and difficult to acknowledge; however, the small silver lining is that taking a step back from trying to conceive may give you the time you need to breathe, recuperate and reconnect with your partner.

Oftentimes, advertisements and posts of friends and relatives depict children opening gifts with their parents. This may be triggering for you, especially since holiday celebrations can begin as early. Taking a break from social media may be helpful during this time.

The festive season can upset our normal patterns. The typical meals you might usually eat get replaced by a roast and mince-pies, and you may find that due to this all of your usual routines come to a halt. Try to maintain the self-care routine you had prior to the holidays, as this may help to improve your mood. If you were practising de-stressing techniques, healthy meal prep, regular exercise – try to keep up with these habits.

It can be really difficult to stay connected with people through life, especially when undergoing such stressful and time-consuming events like fertility treatments. While we hope you have someone to confide in and rely on, this is not always the case for everyone. If you feel that this year you may be isolated or that you need someone to talk to, reach out to family, friends or members of our fertility community who are dealing with similar struggles.  Why don’t you download our Fertility Squad app this festive season?  Perhaps our members can offer you some great advice on handling the holidays.