The fertility head-f*ck is real – here’s an expert’s advice pack
Building a fertile mindset: what helped us most
When we were trying to conceive, one of the biggest game-changers wasn’t medical – it was mental. Looking after our mindset became just as important as tracking cycles or taking supplements. It’s so easy to get caught up in appointments and protocols, but your emotional wellbeing matters just as much.
For us, hypnotherapy, visualisation, and working with a fertility coach made a huge difference. That’s why we’re genuinely excited to introduce you to Naomi Woolfson, a Cognitive Hypnotherapist who’s helped people all over the world on their TTC journey. Her approach is thoughtful, gentle, and rooted in real emotional transformation – and you’ll definitely want to hear what she has to say below.
The space in-between
When you’re longing for a baby, it can feel like there’s this child-shaped space in your life – your body, your home, even your soul. Once you’ve decided you want to become a parent, it changes the way you see everything. Every choice – what you eat, how you move, your finances, your future – suddenly carries the weight of someone else’s life too.
That’s why it’s so hard to just carry on as usual. You’re ready to step into this next chapter, but the door hasn’t opened yet. You’re in limbo – not who you were, not quite who you’re becoming.
The shift that changed everything
Month after month, negative test after negative test – it starts to hurt in ways you can’t always explain. Every bump you see, every “we’re pregnant!” post can feel like a punch to the chest. You try to stay calm. You try to “just relax.” But inside, it’s heartbreak.
Research shows that the emotional toll of infertility can be as intense as being diagnosed with cancer or heart disease. I felt that deeply. After our first failed treatment, I hit a breaking point – panic attacks, insomnia, gut issues. I wasn’t coping.
Then I came across something that shifted my entire perspective. I realised it wasn’t just the not being pregnant that was breaking me – it was my thoughts around it. The fear spirals, the what-ifs, the pressure. I didn’t believe it at first – I thought happiness would come only with a positive test.
But as I started working on my mind, everything changed. Slowly, it felt like stepping out of a dark room and into sunlight. I was sleeping again. The IBS disappeared. The panic calmed. The thoughts still came up – “What if I never become a mum?” – but now I had tools to manage them. I could meet those thoughts with softness, with strength. And that changed everything.
Then came the ultimate test
The anger I’d felt, the way infertility had started to chip away at my relationship—it started to heal. I could visit friends with babies again. I could hold their little ones. That would have felt impossible just months earlier.
Then came our final round of IVF. I got pregnant – but miscarried. I’d always believed that would completely break me. And yes, it hurt. But I didn’t collapse the way I once would have. I had the tools. I reached out to an incredible fertility therapist, and together we processed the sadness, the guilt, the loss.
That Summer, I took time to heal. I paused everything. No trying. No testing. Just me – journaling, meditating, practising EFT. Slowly, I found joy again. Not in a “everything’s fine” kind of way – but in a grounded, hopeful way. I felt ready to keep going.
You’re not alone
If you’re in that in-between space, if your heart feels heavy and your arms feel empty – you’re not alone. There’s help. There’s healing. And you’re allowed to want support for your mental health just as much as your physical health.
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See just how powerful your thoughts really are
Maybe you’ve tried mind-body techniques before – maybe they’re already part of your routine and bring you some peace. But here’s what I’ve learned after seven years of supporting women through infertility: when it comes to TTC, we need to go so much deeper.
When walking people through the five steps of my Fertile Thoughts Activation Process, I don’t just tell you how powerful your thoughts are – I’ll show you. You’ll feel it. In your body. Actual goosebumps. Because I get to share the exact tools I so desperately needed when I was deep in fertility treatments, aching to conceive.
Here’s the truth: you can’t force yourself to relax or “just stay positive.” That whole narrative? It can actually mess with your wellbeing. I write and teach about this all the time – pushing toxic positivity can stop you from reaching out for the support you actually need. For me, chasing constant positivity became a rabbit hole of pressure and anxiety that only made things worse.
What can help is learning how to let go of thoughts that aren’t serving you. Clearing limiting beliefs. Releasing the tension your body holds in response to stress.
Try this quick-start technique now:
Close your eyes. Think of the words trying, striving, aching for.
Feel that in your body.
Now switch to release, allow, soften.
Feel that shift? That little sense of relief? That’s your body responding to your thoughts – in real time.
Understanding how our minds work, and how our thoughts physically affect our bodies and emotions, changed everything for me. These techniques didn’t just make the journey more bearable – they changed the way I lived while trying to conceive. And yes, I believe they played a part in why I conceived my son naturally after 46 months of trying – and then my daughter, naturally again, 23 months later, on the first try.
From anxiety to acceptance, peace and hope
Today, I teach the same mind-body techniques that helped me find a new way forward. (And yes, I get that “journey to motherhood” can feel cringe – but honestly, what else could we call it?)
Because it was a journey. Of self-discovery. Of self-compassion. Of learning how to live well in the in-between.
And it’s a journey I want to share with you.
Over and over, women sign up for my 12-week online course – The Embrace Fertility Method – hoping to manage the stress of infertility. And what they end up finding? A real sense of acceptance. Peace. Hope.
Your thoughts affect way more than your mood – they shape your decisions, your relationships, your health and yes, your fertility too.
So follow along, tune in – and in the meantime, grab your FREE Fertile Thoughts Activation Process Quick Start Pack. It includes:
- The Fertile Thoughts Reset MP3
- An ebook on how to play the Emotions Game for instant relief from negative feelings
- The Heart Anchor technique – to reconnect with gratitude, peace, and joy
- And tips to start making simple, fertility-supportive changes today.
