3. What are the most helpful books, publications or online groups you’ve found?
4. How much research did you do beforehand?
Most of the research I did was focused on the surrogacy processes in the Netherlands (where I live). In doing this, I discovered that if I wanted to be a single father through surrogacy, I would have to go across the border. Once I came to this realisation, there seemed to be so much information that wasn’t informative at all — it was hard to know where to begin. I discovered that most European countries offer few surrogacy processes for single gay men. For this experience alone, I hope my story will help other single, gay men see that it is possible to find surrogacy with the right fertility clinic.
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5. What would you say is the most important quality to look for in a surrogacy agency?
When I found Extraordinary Conceptions, I had a gut feeling and reached out to them. I sent them an email, and then one thing led to another and here I am, beginning my surrogacy process with them! For me, the right surrogacy agency had to be one where I could connect with fertility specialists to talk to, so that my doubts and insecurities could fade away.
Related Article – Being Gay and Having a Family
Extraordinary Conceptions have gone above and beyond for me. Initially, I had a meeting with their UK representative, Hilary Smith. We had a call in the early summer of 2020 and talked for almost an hour! She was very easy to speak with and extremely helpful. Hilary made me feel like I was coming home – I knew I was where I was supposed to be.
That being said, I barely took in anything we talked about, because I was so nervous and everything was so new to me. Hilary had to explain things a few times across the following weeks and months for it to really sink in. She explained and repeated things with such a kind and loving energy that these interactions with her prompted me to continue this journey with Extraordinary Conceptions. I knew I would receive the support I needed here.
A few months later, I met Maria (through Skype), who was just as amazing and supportive. Hilary and Maria have quickly become my heroines through this journey; communication is easy, fast and honest. When I’m feeling low, they pick me up and, when I’m happy, they are celebrating with me. They have helped me through everything: from helping me ship sperm from Europe to Mexico, to helping with translations. If there’s something I’m struggling with, they either help me or do it for me. I might be technically alone in this process, but these amazing women have made sure that I don’t feel that way.
7. I understand you’ve chosen to work with a Mexican fertility clinic. Have you had any difficulty working with a foreign fertility clinic due to travel restrictions?
I chose to do the surrogacy process in Mexico thanks to Hilary, who recommended a fairly new program EC have, based in Mexico. This was a happy coincidence for me, as I had hoped for a Latina egg donor. With all of this considered, I decided to accept the program in Mexico right away.
Due to Covid19 travel restrictions, there is a lot I have to do before going to Mexico for the first time, which will be two weeks before my baby is born! All other appointments and fertility consults happened through Skype, Zoom and mostly email. While this is convenient for me, as I work as a teacher (taking a few days off is not an option), I would like to be there through some of the pregnancy journey and I am hoping I can still be a part of that experience.