Exercise
5 of the Best Apps for Sexual Wellness
Eloise Edington | 8 Jun 2022
Are you having enough sex or too much? Is your sex drive too low or too high?
Everywhere we look, we seem to be told we’re not having enough sex and we need to have more, more, more! But honestly, between ovulation tracking, fertility appointments and IVF meds, getting in the mood when trying to conceive is no mean feat. Rather, maintaining an attitude of sexual wellness is a far more sustainable way of connecting with your sexual self and partner.
At TRB, we know that wellbeing and fertility are inextricably linked, so we’ve rounded up our five best sexual wellness apps (well, four and one hot website). Read on for sexy apps that will make your bedsheets sizzle…
Understanding Desire
The chances are, that at some point, you’ve been made to feel bad about how much sex you’re having, initiating or wanting. Yet as anyone suffering specifically male- or female-factor infertility will know, feeling like you’re inadequate can damage relationships. There are articles splashed over the internet and across magazine covers, adverts promoting products to enhance your sex drive and wellness courses to recalibrate your sexual desire.
But what you think you know about your sexual desire is probably wrong.
According to sex scientist Dr Emily Nagoski in her 2015 book “Come as You Are” (an utterly brilliant read), there’s no such thing as a “sex drive”. In scientific terms, a drive is an innate push towards something that will enhance our (individual) survival. The drives to sleep, eat and drink and find shelter. Whilst not ideal for our species, if we don’t have sex, we won’t keel over.
Instead of thinking about sex as a drive, Nagoski suggests each of us has sex accelerators and sex brakes which turn us on or turn us off. Moreover, we each have a primary style of desire: Spontaneous Desire or Responsive Desire, but this can change over our lifetimes.
Most (although not all) women have a responsive desire style and most (not all) men have a spontaneous desire style. In our society, we think of someone having a high sex drive as a person who regularly thinks about and seeks sexual connection – someone who has a spontaneous desire style – hence why we tend to think men have a higher sex drive than women.
Sexual Wellness Apps
What’s all this got to do with sexual wellness apps? Well, if we consider that most women have a responsive desire style, to feel turned on there needs to be umm… a stimulus, of sorts. This is where apps can help.
It’s important to remember that there isn’t a superior style of desire, nor is there a normal position on the continuum of Spontaneous-Responsive. Your desire style can change over your lifetime or depend on your situation – perhaps you feel more spontaneous desire when you’re in a relationship and a more responsive desire for sex when you’re single. And whilst “consider what’s normal for you” is the saying du jour, you might feel anything but normal when TTC or having fertility treatment. So cut yourself some slack, download an app and relax into a moment of pleasure for yourself.
Emjoy – Sexual Selfcare and Sexy Stories
Emjoy is bursting with over 200 audio stories featuring solo play, couples, hook-ups, different relationship dynamics and more. Each story is rated on a scale of three chillies (one chilli = romantic and tamer, two chillies = saucy, three chillies = expect spice!) and like any good content app, there’s a filtering function across a variety of story elements so you can find a fantasy to get your rocks off, pronto. The app positions itself as LGBTQ+ friendly, but has been criticised in the past for lacking content featuring (and for) trans women. Since then, the content editors have created more trans-inclusive stories and Wellbeing sessions – and continue to do so.
Stories we love: The Red Door, Light Up and Playing with Roman I.
The Wellbeing section houses over 400 scientifically-backed guides by sex experts that allow users to boost their self-esteem, learn how to overcome shame, listen to sex education lessons and track their journey to self-pleasure.
Download options: Free to download and you can get a 7-day free trial. A year’s subscription costs £34.99 (working out at £2.92 a month) and a quarterly subscription costs £16.99 – cancel anytime.
Credit: Emjoy
Kama – Holistic and Inclusive Sexual Pleasure Platform
Kama’s in-house team of sex experts deliver pleasure-centric guidance, drawing on scientific research into neuroplasticity and psychosexuality, somatic awareness and ancient cultural wisdom. The app aims to help people of all ages, genders and sexualities to connect their mind, body and heart as a way of improving health through pleasure.
There’s content for enhancing self-pleasure as well as partnered pleasure and the capability to save sessions for future use. New content is released regularly and videos can be short and sweet, although perhaps it’s not a good idea to watch them whilst waiting for the bus.
Download options: Free to download and no subscriptions needed – all content is readily available.
Credit: Kama
Paired – A Happier Relationship, Through Your Phones
Good communication is the foundation of a good relationship and as a couple’s app, Paired is on a mission to improve the happiness of relationships, in just 10 minutes a day. Select from a wide range of topics to answer questions about, allowing you to personalise the strengthening of your relationship. Each question has been formulated using expert advice from clinical psychotherapists and academics, and is specifically designed to help deepen intimacy and encourage open dialogue between partners. There are also expert tips and conversation starters to help you discuss your answers with your partner and an in-app feature for those who prefer to message than speak face-to-face.
Download options: Free to download and you can get a 7-day free trial. A year’s subscription costs £62.99 (working out at £5.25 a month) and a month’s subscription costs £11.99 (both subscription options are available for you and your partner) – cancel anytime.
Credit: Paired
Coral – Sexual Pleasure from all the Senses
Coral understands that there isn’t such a thing as a sex drive and reflects Nagoski’s position that there are two types of desire: Spontaneous and Responsive. In fact, Nagoski is a contributing expert at Coral, making this an app an absolute must to have on your phone! Once you sign up, you’re guided through a short questionnaire to determine your desire style and stats help you understand where you might sit amongst population trends. Add personalised journeys (such as Have More Orgasms or Give Pleasure Better) to follow steps to sexual pleasure and save anything so you can return to it later.
Credit: Coral
Content is kink-positive, inclusive and based on science, and subscribers can also Ask an Expert to gain personalised sex coaching. Discuss your sexual awakening and share stories with Coral’s community, and chat privately with your partner. In the Play section, your senses are awakened with sexy playlists and erotic exercises (this week’s exercise is to eat a peach: “a juicy meditation for self-pleasure”).
Download options: Free to download – free trial for 7 days. An annual subscription costs £49.99 (with a free premium subscription for your partner).
Aurore – Sizzling Sex Stories, Based on Real Experiences
Lauded as “Erotica, Updated”, Aurore’s stories have been written by and for women and queer people. This is porn with a storyline, “as smart as it is sexy”, written by amateurs, based on real experiences. Each one of the 100+ stories feels authentic, emotional and raw, and is utterly relatable, with new stories being published every week. Search the website’s large selection of genres to find something that tickles your pickle.
Download options: Pay what you can, between $5.99/month and $19.99/month – cancel anytime.
