Fertility

5 steps to fresh starts with IVF – this is the Alice Rose fertility power effect

Alice Rose, Founder at The Fertility Life Raft  |   28 Dec 2019


Trying to conceive, and it not working, can really feel like the end of the world.

How do you put one foot in front of the other? And although we love them so much, how can it be fair that some of our friends can get pregnant so easily, and we’re stuck knee-deep in fertility specialist appointments?

Switch up your mindset, with Alice Rose fertility

Feeling like you’re spending more time at your fertility clinic than hanging out with your friends? We’ve been there and got the t-shirt, and can confirm that it truly sucks – especially over the Holidays and New Year celebrations.

That’s why we’ve spoken to the lovely Alice Rose, fertility mindset coach and founder of the Fertility Life Raft, to get some of her fantastic wisdom, and share some fertility mindset tips as the new year begins.

Over to Alice.

ivf fresh starts

Fresh starts to IVF, and how to find hope

Waiting for your life to change and willing things to be different; willing them to reflect the visions and dreams in your head.

As we reach milestone moments like the start of a new year, it can feel so unfair as you watch everyone around you fall pregnant; have their babies – maybe even their second or third – while you’re still not where you want to be, trying to conceive your first.

Infertility is a quagmire. A rubbish hand to be dealt. It’s even more difficult because so many people don’t understand how to respond or what to say if you do choose to open up about what you’re going through.

I’ve been where you are now

I remember one time, sharing our infertility journey and fertility treatment steps with an old friend, who just said, “Oh. Random.”

What does that even mean?! A hopelessly inadequate response when all you really need is someone to say “That sounds so tough. Are you OK?”

So how can we find ways to feel re-energised for a fresh start, and look forward to it? How can we feel hopeful again, and make sure that we have a support system that actually works for us?

Five fertility mindset tips

These tips have helped me, and I hope they help you too.

1. Acknowledge that what you’re going through is hard.

Try not to bury your feelings or suppress them. Imagine them as a boiling pan of water on the hob…if you stick a lid on it, it’s just going to explode at some point, right?! Take the lid off, have a look at what’s going on in there and turn the heat down. Speaking of which…

2. Turn the heat down a notch

And focus on soothing, healing, and nourishing yourself.

Getting help and support, and working on your wellbeing will mean you’re in a much better position to deal with a difficult, new diagnosis or an unexpected twist in your path to bringing home a baby. You might feel better prepped for the odd daft comment, too.

If there’s one thing I learned on my own trying to conceive journey, it’s that all manner of nonsense can crop up which you might not anticipate, so lay a bit of groundwork and you’ll feel more prepared.

It’s not expecting disaster, it’s just equipping yourself with tools to manage anything unplanned.

fertility mindset tips

3. Freshen up your state of mind

Your motivation and rediscovering hope stems from this. I know I felt like I had completely lost myself at one point in the middle of all our rounds of fertility treatment.

Getting back in touch with who you are and what brings you joy – and I’m talking about true joy, not a 4 hour Netflix binge – although obviously there’s always time for one of those!

I’m talking about the sort that actually sparks something in your heart or gets you excited to get out of bed in the morning, because they can have the power to totally reframe your situation.

And the ripple effects of this are pretty mega.

4. Get the knowledge you need and empower yourself

Equip yourself with information which will help you make strong decisions – not just with your fertility journey or grieving process; but with your life as a whole.

When we’re connected to who we are, what we want in life and how to get it, we start to behave differently, with more confidence and a bit of a spring in our step – which so often gets taken away from us through the repeated grief cycle we inadvertently end up wading through when we’re trying to conceive for a long time.

So if you need information to make good decisions; do your research and find out what you need to know to take those steps towards a more fulfilled version of you.

5. Give yourself a break

If you get to step 4 and feel great, but then find you’re waking up in a great big funk again – that’s OK. It’s completely normal.

Life is wonderful but monstrously complex sometimes. So if you wake up and you want to hide, give yourself a little grace and take the day.

Just make sure you’ve got your support network in place, so that you don’t stay under the covers too long. Because while it might feel horribly complex on some days, if we can find the right balance, it’s sometimes very simple.

We just need love, purpose, nourishment and a huge helping of self-compassion and understanding.

The Fertility Life Raft offers professional, quality support for women trying to bring home a baby. It’s your life; we just help you live it. Whatever happens. Check out their 1:1 coaching options here.

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