5 Steps to fresh starts with IVF – this is the Alice Rose fertility power effect

Trying to conceive and it not working can feel like the end of the world. How do you put one foot in front of the other? How can some friends get pregnant after one night of passion and you’re knee-deep in fertility specialist appointments. You feel like you spend more time at your fertility clinic than hanging out with your friends? We’ve been there and got the t-shirt and can confirm that it truly sucks – especially over Christmas and New Year celebrations. That’s why we’ve spoken to our friend and ultimate fertility warrior, Alice Rose, to impart her wisdom in this fertility blog, on how to look forward as the new year begins.

Over to Alice Rose…

thisisalicerose.com | @thisisalicerose

I Have Been Where You Are Now

Waiting for your life to change and willing things to be different; willing them to reflect the visions and dreams in your head. As we reach milestone moments like the start of a new year, it can feel so unfair as you watch everyone around you fall pregnant; have their babies – maybe even their second or third – while you’re still not where you want to be, trying to conceive your first. Infertility is a quagmire. A rubbish hand to be dealt. It’s even more difficult because so many people don’t understand how to respond or what to say if you do choose to open up about what you’re going through.

Related Article – Baby Loss Awareness – What Not to Say to a Woman Who’s Had a Miscarriage

I remember one time, sharing our infertility journey and fertility treatment steps with an old friend, who just said, ‘Oh. Random.’ What does that even mean?! A hopelessly inadequate response when all you really need is someone to say: “that sounds so tough. Are you OK?”. So how can we find ways to feel re-energised for a new year and look forward to it? How can we feel hopeful again, or that we have a support system that actually works for us?

These Steps Help Me

I hope they help you too:

1. Acknowledge that what you’re going through is hard. Try not to bury your feelings or suppress them. Imagine them as a boiling pan of water on the hob…if you stick a lid on it, it’s just going to explode at some point, right?! Take the lid off, have a look at what’s going on in there and turn the heat down. Speaking of which…

2. Turning the heat down: soothing, healing, nourishing yourself. Getting support, working on your wellbeing will mean you’re in a much better position to deal with difficult, new diagnosis or an unexpected twist in your path to bringing home a baby (or a daft comment). If there’s one thing I learned on my own trying to conceive journey, it’s that all manner of nonsense can crop up which you might not anticipate, so lay a bit of groundwork and you’ll feel more prepared. It’s not expecting disaster, it’s just equipping yourself with tools to manage anything unplanned.

3. Freshening up your state of mind, your motivation and rediscovering hope stems from this. I know I felt like I had completely lost myself at one point in the middle of all our rounds of fertility treatment. Getting back in touch with who you are and what brings you joy – and I’m talking about true joy, not a 4 hour Netflix binge (although obvs there’s always time for one of those…) but I’m talking about the sort that actually sparks something in your heart or gets you excited to get out of bed in the morning- will reframe your situation. The ripple effects of this are pretty mega.

4. Get the knowledge you need and empower yourself with the information which will help you make strong decisions; not just with your fertility journey or grieving process; but with your life as a whole. When we’re connected to who we are, what we want in life and how to get it, we start to behave differently, with more confidence and a bit of a spring in our step – which so often gets taken away from us through the repeated grief cycle we inadvertently end up wading through when we’re trying to conceive for a long time. So if you need information to make good decisions; do your research and find out what you need to know to take those steps towards a more fulfilled version of you.

   Related Article – How Infertility has Rocked these Women’s Romantic Relationships; and How Communication has Improved Them

5. Give yourself a break. If you get to step 4 and feel great – but then you wake up in a great big funk again: that’s OK. It’s completely normal. Life is wonderful but monstrously complex sometimes. So if you wake up and you want to hide? That’s OK. Just make sure you’ve got your support network in place, so that you don’t stay under the covers too long, because while it might feel horribly complex on some days, if we can find the right balance, it’s sometimes very simple.

We just need love, purpose, nourishment and a huge helping of self-compassion and understanding. Take care, Alice x

I’m about to launch my new ‘5 days to fresh’ online course for £10, to help you clear energy and get yourself on track for a new start, with practical, actionable things you can do to feel better. For a taster, you can download my free 5 minute reset meditation here