I think I’ll need to use surrogacy. What should I do first?
Maybe you’ve known for a while, but haven’t yet dived into the detail. Or, this might well be the first time you’ve considered surrogacy as a path to parenthood and family building. In 2026, more intended parents (IPs for short) than ever are looking for initial information around the surrogacy process, at home and abroad.
Whatever your situation, articulating it and beginning research is a key step in itself. Dipping into the process and keen to get started? We’ve partnered with full-service (where every aspect is managed under one roof) agency Be Parent, to provide the step-by-step.
They are an amazing team – I was so excited to learn that over 517 babies have been born via their services since inception in 2017 – and build on lived experience of infertility and surrogacy to create a whole village of support.
Connect with Be Parent when you’re in the space – and in the meantime, keep reading for the team’s guide to getting started, for the very first time.
I’m dipping a toe in – what’s the very first thing I should do, before starting surrogacy?
The emotional starting point is often overlooked, but it really matters. Surrogacy isn’t usually the first path people imagined for building their family, so giving themselves space to process this shift is important. So is talking openly with their partner or support network about hopes, fears and expectations.
Getting emotionally aligned early makes the practical steps feel far less overwhelming when or if they occur.
On the practical side, IPs should start by understanding their legal landscape. A short conversation with a lawyer who specializes in family or fertility law can help them understand what is and isn’t possible in their home country. This early legal clarity can save months of confusion later and help them focus their research in the right places from the start.
Finances are another key early step. Surrogacy is a major life project, so creating a realistic budget and timeline helps IPs feel more in control. This doesn’t mean having everything ready immediately, it simply means understanding the scale of the journey and how they can plan for it.
Once they’ve taken these first emotional, legal and financial steps, reaching out to an agency becomes much more productive and empowering.
How does surrogacy work?
At its heart, gestational surrogacy is a coordinated team effort, and it usually begins with a surrogacy agency. The agency becomes the central guide, helping intended parents understand their options, map out a realistic plan and assemble the right professionals before any medical steps even begin.
From there, the agency coordinates fertility consultations and treatment planning with your chosen IVF clinic. Embryos are created using the intended parents’ or donors’ genetic material, depending on each family’s circumstances.
At the same time, the agency prepares for surrogate matching – at Be Parent, this means working only with candidates who’ve been fully and triple screened, educated on the process, who are ready for the responsibility of the journey, and all that it involves.
Once a match is confirmed, legal agreements are completed to ensure clarity, protection and alignment for everyone involved. The surrogate partner then begins medical preparation for embryo transfer. If the transfer is successful, the pregnancy progresses like any other, supported by regular prenatal care.
Throughout the pregnancy, the agency continues to coordinate communication, logistics, emotional support, and birth planning – at Be Parent our team includes an in-house village of professionals, to ensure everyone has the right support, the moment they need it.
The final stage involves legal and travel steps that allow IPs to return home with their baby. Surrogacy isn’t conception, pregnancy, birth – it’s a carefully guided process designed to support and protect everyone from beginning to end.
What do we mean by ‘end-to-end’?
Okay, so let’s break it down – we like to do this as often as we can, with every step of the process clarified (and no question is too minor. It goes without saying, but we like to say it anyway!)
- The journey begins with an in-depth consultation where we learn about the family’s goals, medical history, legal eligibility and timeline. From there, we help coordinate clinic steps such as fertility testing, embryo creation, or planning for donor involvement if needed. This stage focuses on preparation and building a strong foundation.
- Next comes surrogate matching, legal agreements, and medical preparation. Once a match is confirmed, contracts are completed to ensure clarity, protection and ethical alignment for everyone involved.
- The embryo transfer then takes place, followed by pregnancy confirmation and the start of the prenatal journey.
- Throughout pregnancy, we provide ongoing coordination, emotional support and milestone preparation, from scan updates to detailed birth planning. We also offer online, doula-led prenatal classes for IPs, followed by in-person post-birth support at their residence after discharge, helping families settle into those first days with confidence.
Our role is to maintain healthy, respectful communication and ensure both the surrogate partner and IPs feel consistently supported every step of the way.
Finally, we guide families through birth, legal documentation, and travel logistics so they can return home safely with their baby. Every milestone is supported step-by-step, with care, transparency and ethical oversight at the center.
How does ‘matching’ work?
Our process begins long before IPs reach the pairing stage. Surrogate candidates complete triple screening medical, psychological and social evaluations, so by the time families are ready, every candidate has been through thorough testing and is committed to the process. This thorough preparation allows the next steps to move quickly and confidently.
We use a structured alignment approach that brings IPs and surrogate candidates together based on shared values, expectations, communication style and practical preferences. Because both sides are carefully prepared in advance, most families are introduced to a suitable surrogate partner within three months.
Rather than focusing on speed alone, we prioritise genuine compatibility and long-term comfort. This helps build strong relationships from the start and makes the pregnancy journey smoother and more positive for everyone involved.
Whose egg is used in surrogacy?
In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate carrier never uses her own egg. The embryo is created using either the intended mother’s eggs or donor eggs, fertilised with sperm from the intended father or a donor, depending on each family’s circumstances.
We provide detailed donor profiles and talk families through donor options carefully so they can take their time and decide on what feels right for them. There’s no pressure – this is a deeply personal step – and our role is to offer clarity and guidance.
Working closely with fertility clinics, we help families understand the recommendations, success rates, timelines and practical considerations, so they can make informed decisions regarding using their own gametes or not, and move forward with confidence.
Does a surrogate share blood with the baby?
We’ve deep-dived aspects of this common question with TRB recently – read up in our guide to biological vs legal motherhood in surrogacy. But keep reading for a quick run-through!
In modern, legally structured surrogacy programs, the process used is gestational surrogacy. This means the surrogate has no genetic link to the baby. The embryo is created through IVF using the intended parents’ or donor eggs and sperm.
The surrogate carrier’s role is to carry the pregnancy and provide a safe, healthy environment for the baby to grow, but the child’s genetics come entirely from the embryo.
This distinction is a defining feature of contemporary surrogacy and an important part of the legal and ethical framework that supports it.
How do you define a gestational carrier?
A gestational carrier is a woman who carries a pregnancy, created through IVF, for another family and has no genetic connection to the baby.
The term distinguishes modern surrogacy from earlier forms of surrogacy and reflects the medical clarity of the process, as well as the clearly defined roles within the journey.
Many families and surrogates prefer this language because it feels precise, respectful, and aligned with how contemporary surrogacy is practiced today.
I’m thinking about going abroad for surrogacy – is this legit?
Absolutely. It’s a really common myth that international surrogacy is unregulated or inherently more risky. In reality, it depends on the agency you’re working with. Domestic or international, established programs should operate within clear legal, medical and ethical frameworks designed to protect intended parents, surrogate partners and the child at the centre of it all.
There is also a common misconception that international surrogacy is a ‘shortcut’, or an easier path. In truth, it involves careful planning, legal preparation and coordinated medical care, often with extensive safeguards and documentation.
Many also worry about a more uncertain journey home with their baby, when using international surrogacy. With proper legal preparation and experienced guidance, citizenship, documentation and travel steps are anticipated and managed well in advance.
International surrogacy today is highly coordinated, transparent and carefully managed – all aspects at the very heart of Be Parent.
I can’t go for surrogacy in my home country – what should I do?
For IPs who cannot pursue surrogacy in their home country, the “side step” is international surrogacy, beginning the journey in a country where the legal and medical framework makes it possible. Rather than a workaround, it is a structured path chosen because the process is clearly defined, regulated and supported.
Surrogacy laws vary widely across the world. Some countries or states (US IPs, read up with this guide from ASRM covering surrogacy laws by state) prohibit it entirely, while others have established systems that allow IPs to move forward with legal clarity and medical oversight. By stepping into these jurisdictions, families gain access to a pathway that can safely guide them from embryo creation to birth and legal parenthood.
This route relies on careful coordination between clinics, legal experts and experienced professionals who understand both the destination country and the parents’ home country requirements. With the right support, what might seem like a complex overseas process becomes an expert-driven and manageable journey.
Ultimately, this side step is not a detour from parenthood but the route that makes it possible – a cross-border path built on expertise, collaboration, affordability and the shared goal of creating family.
All caught up? Connect with Be Parent to take your initial steps, whether you’re beginning the research or ready to match (or maybe somewhere in-between).
