I’m a mama to donor-conceived children – here’s my sperm bank story (& 5 things that surprised me the most)
In paid partnership with California Cryobank
Looking for a real sperm bank story? For TRB Founder Eloise and her husband, with a ten-year donor conception journey behind them, opening up about their experience has become an important part of their experience.
They turned to California Cryobank after a male infertility diagnosis, and it helped them build the family they have today via treatment with donor sperm.
Five children later and ten years from the start of her journey, I sat down with Eloise to recap her sperm bank story as she shares the five things that positively surprised her about her experience with California Cryobank and how they continue to be a supportive partner for her donor-conceived family.
California Cryobank has nearly fifty years of experience and the industry’s largest and most diverse donor selection. TRB readers can get special access to extended donor profile information with a free Level 3 Subscription ($250 value) with code RIBBON26
Now, over to Eloise.
What surprised me along the way
1. Easy donor search tools
I’ll be honest, we were so overwhelmed when we first decided we were going to use a sperm bank. Just the idea of choosing someone to provide half of our child’s DNA was (obviously) no small thing.
But we had some initial ideas of what we were looking for, and once I’d logged into California Cryobank’s donor portfolio and had spent some time looking around, I was surprised by how clear and simple the process was.
You can search donors using filters that matter to you, including:
- Ancestry
- Education level
- Height
- Eye color
- Hair color and texture
- Blood type
- Genetic testing level
- Adult photos
- And more
We were able to really take our time. And once we narrowed it down to a few top choices, it started to feel a lot less intimidating, and even quite empowering.
I realized we weren’t expected to find some mythical “perfect” donor. We just had to find someone who felt like a good fit for us.
2. Ultra-detailed support, when it mattered most
As we came to the point of selecting a donor, the next step was making sure everything matched up to us and our treatment type, and this is where the team at California Cryobank really came through.
We were given really clear guidance on what type of vials we needed to buy for our treatment type. Who knew that was even something we needed to consider?
We also learned about something called CMV (cytomegalovirus) testing. Our doctor recommended choosing a CMV negative donor since it turned out that I was CMV-negative.
The team helped us find a donor who ticked all the boxes — and that was who we ended up choosing.
Genetic screening also felt overwhelming at the time. But again, the California Cryobank team helped explain what everything meant, what was relevant to us, and what to look out for. It made all the difference to feel like we had real experts to support us, not just a webpage!
3. Smooth (and safe) shipping
People often ask me how sperm shipping even works. I remember wondering the same thing back then – how on earth do they make sure that something so sensitive arrives safely?
What surprised me here was how seamless the whole process was. Once we’d placed our order, California Cryobank shipped directly to our fertility clinic (Weill Cornell in New York). We learned that they use liquid nitrogen “dry” shippers, designed to maintain the proper temperature for up to five days from the date of shipment.
We never had to worry about timing or stress about logistics. Our clinic received the sample exactly when they needed it, got it ready for our treatment, all the while each step being handled professionally with crystal-clear communication.
4. Unmatched post-conception support
Something I didn’t expect is that the support from California Cryobank doesn’t stop once you’ve done your treatment or even had your baby.
I discovered their online Learning Center shortly after our eldest daughter was born and found it so helpful. There’s a wide range of resources there, including:
- Parenting donor-conceived children
- Explaining their conception story in age-appropriate ways
- Bulletin boards to ask questions
- More expert tips to support your family
Back in 2023, they even published a beautiful children’s book called I Love Them and They Love Me, which helps donor-conceived kiddos understand and feel proud of their family story. It’s designed for young readers and has been such a gentle and positive way for us to talk to our older children about their origins.
5. Access to a wider network for our family
This one really surprised me! Nearly five years after our eldest daughter was born, we were able to connect with a donor sibling through the California Cryobank Donor Sibling Registry.
This is a secure online database where families who used the same donor can connect (if they choose to). It’s free and totally optional, and you can sign up as a parent like we did, or your child can sign up once they are 18 or older.
I’ve talked about our experience with the Donor Sibling Registry in more detail here, but in short, we actually ended up meeting one of our children’s donor siblings in person, who came to visit us from the U.S. It was such a special moment, and one our family wouldn’t have got to experience without California Cryobank.
For families built using donor sperm, these connections can be incredibly meaningful, and I think it’s amazing that California Cryobank makes it easy and safe to access that kind of community, when (and if) you’re ready.
California Cryobank – More than just a sperm bank
Looking back, I thought using a sperm bank would feel clinical and maybe even a bit lonely. But with California Cryobank, we felt supported at every step. They’ve honestly been a real long-term partner in our family’s story.
Want to read more sperm bank stories? There are more shared experiences and resources out there than you might expect, and California Cryobank is a great place to start.
And if you’d like to begin your journey with donor sperm, TRB readers get special access to extended donor profile information with a free Level 3 Subscription ($250 value) with code RIBBON26 at cryobank.com, right now.
